Alibi V.16 No.9 • March 1-7, 2007 

The Real Side

Hold the Hillary

Dems à la mode

I’m writing this at the Flying Star in Downtown Albuquerque. I came to get a slab of their awesome strawberry rhubarb pie and a scoop of vanilla ice cream. I ended up with a headache instead.

No, this isn’t a restaurant review. I’ll leave that to the Alibi’s Jennifer Wohletz, who can write enthusiastically about food without using the word “awesome.” Besides, I got the headache before I ever reached the counter. Here’s what happened.

I’m standing in line, people-watching and not avoiding the conversations around me. Behind me are two women talking politics. One wears an “If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention” button on her denim jacket. The other still has a “Kerry-Edwards” button piercing her purse strap. This is what they’re saying:

“But Hillary’s a Northeast liberal. Are you nuts? No way can she win a national election. No way.”

“’Scuse me. She’s not a Northeast liberal. She’s a woman.”

“I see your point.”

Right then the pounding started behind my eyes.

Would Democrats really nominate Hillary Clinton as their candidate for president?

Will we again have to choose between a Republican who supported invading Iraq and a Democrat who supported invading Iraq? Please don’t tell me that’s the best the Dems can do.

When I reached the counter, the clerk asked what I wanted. I wanted to answer, “Someone who had the brains and guts to call the Iraq War stupid before it started.”

Either Hillary voted for the war out of personal political ambition or she was duped by George W. Bush, unlike millions of us plain old regular folks who saw exactly what was going on. The only other explanation is that, like Sen. Joe Lieberman, she truly agreed with Bush’s plans.

Regardless, she still won’t acknowledge that attacking Iraq was a terrible mistake. She hasn’t denounced waging unprovoked war. Her rhetoric remained pro-war until Barack Obama began competing for the party’s nomination. Even Republican Rep. Heather Wilson spoke against Bush’s escalation before Hillary did. Hard to believe, but true.

If we’re worried about starting another stupid war, Hillary’s not our refuge of hope. She welcomes comparisons to Margaret Thatcher. Reports in the Israeli press hold out President Hillary Clinton as the best prospect for getting the United States to bomb Iran, and Israeli right-wingers have already begun the lobbying. On the question of attacking Iran, she repeats verbatim Bush’s line that “every option is on the table,” and does not exclude a preemptive nuclear strike.

Her campaign so frequently repeats Bush’s talking points on falsely connecting the war in Iraq to 9/11 or painting fellow Democrats as weak on terrorism, she should start paying royalties.

We can confidently assume that the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge will be safe from drilling under a Hillary Clinton Administration. No anti-abortion Justice will be appointed to the Supreme Court. But we could be killing Iranians.

Hillary Clinton recently gave a bizarre speech to an all black audience in South Carolina. She said her candidacy was about “breaking barriers.” She was obviously talking about herself instead of her listeners. Exactly where does she get off suggesting that electing the first female president is more important than putting the first African-American in the Oval Office? Or the first Hispanic?

Hillary’s current stump speech touts her marriage as a distinct job qualification. With Hill we get Bill. Is that really a political asset? As the GOP can easily point out, Mark Foley only fantasized about doing what Bill Clinton actually did with a young intern. Face it: If Bill’s along for the race to the White House, so’s Monica.

Imagine if Hillary were elected. The names of the persons running our country for a solid quarter-century would be Bush-Clinton-Clinton-Bush-Bush-Clinton, followed in 2012 by a possible choice between Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush. Instead of a democracy, we’re facing competing dynasties.

But she won’t be elected. Republicans won’t cross over. She is a Northeast liberal. She’ll lose every southern state. Her high negatives will throw swing states to the GOP candidate. Anti-war Democrats will have to be dragged to the polls. Republicans will keep the presidency, and there’ll be no accountability for starting this horrible war.

Or maybe she’ll squeak through. And there’ll be no accountability for starting this horrible war.

Oh, man. The Democrats wouldn’t really nominate Hillary Clinton, would they?

“Excuse me, sir.”

The clerk taps his pen on his order pad. The two women have stopped debating politics and are glaring at me. I’ve been holding up the line while my mind races.

“Have you decided?” the clerk prods.

You bet I’ve decided: Any Dem but Hillary.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author. E-mail