[RE: Idiot Box, "Night of the Living Deadenbacher," Feb. 15-21]
Bowel-loosening, puke-spewing, brain-eating, bony, lipless jaws, gruesome resurrection and shambling partially animated corpse. “I witnessed something so horrifying on television that it reduced me to a babbling fetal position underneath my living room table.” Gonzo journalism, huh? But isn't this overdone ham?
Your rant on the Redenbacher commercial is evidence (and competition to my rant on you) that you are faking the thoughts of hysterical borderline personality or just being “more naughty than nice.” But wait—before you bring out the rope, look at my scathing comments this way—I am only being naughty and I really don't mean what I say. Just fun and games.
And “the stiff-faced ghoul seems poised to rip the flesh off his skull” is complete bullshit. I saw the commercial and promptly forgot it like any sane man would do. Unless, of course, I was hunting for an excuse to write an inane article for a newspaper that specializes, on occasion, in that kind of rambling, vulgar crap.
Hold on, you wrote your article as a farce, right? Then let’s have a good laugh because your article is not serious and because I enjoy writing criticism about an article that is a farce. But then—if this is true—that ... hummm, that would render my letter inane and make me look like a idiot. But that can't be true because I'm only doing what I want to do—just like you. Well, that's something to think about.
Your information about Crispin & Bogusky (famed for creating Burger King’s creepy king character) being the designer of the spot was very interesting—I've often wondered about that. And the part about ConAgra—who knows when that will come in handy. You’re a gold mine of information and I will be looking forward to your next article.
In my opinion, since the first paragraph failed—it had a long-winded wandering fashion to it—to establish a credible premise for “Night of the Living Deadenbacher,” the rest of the article also failed to meet the requirements of gonzo journalism but I am sure the hoi polloi (whose requirements are less stringent than mine) probably enjoyed your story and therefore it was a success. Congratulations.
One more thing—seriously, “Keeping Our Hands To Ourselves Since 1992” has a wise-ass snicker to it. In my opinion, someone at your newspaper is a loose gun, i.e. someone who believes that he can do anything he wants to do at the time he wants to do it—very young children think that way.
The editor of the Hamburg Tribune continued to publish stories opposing the Nazi regimen, despite threats of death, until Hitler sent the SS to destroyed the offices of his newspaper and he was forced to flee for his life. Now that's what I call a great editor.
Why don't you publish something against the war? The majority of your readers, I am certain, want the war to end.