Answer Me This
By Marisa Demarco
Which Halloween costume is the most offensive? Can people in Santa Fe count? Who wants an afternoon paper? What do you have to do to get free parking around here?
1. A resident protested outside Scott's Halloween Spirit Superstore because:
a) Halloween is the devil's holiday.
b) Sexy nurse outfits are an affront to women in the medical community everywhere.
c) She's offended by pregnant nun and big-crotched priest costumes.
d) She's sick of those cliché pirate costumes.
2. Santa Fe is approaching its 400th anniversary, but there's a catch—no one can agree on when, exactly, it is. Why?
a) No one really knows how Santa Fe became a city. One day, it was just kind of there.
b) You can't read the last digit of the date on the letter adventurer Juan Martinez de Montoya sent to Spain.
c) Simple math evades most Santa Feans. It's all the incense.
d) A couple of historical events can be interpreted as the founding of Santa Fe.
3. Lo and behold, someone's put in a bid to buy the Albuquerque Tribune. Who was it?
a) The president of an advertising firm.
b) The Albuquerque Journal.
c) A group of concerned citizens called The Friends of the Albuquerque Tribune.
d) A band of rebel ninja journalists.
4. The City Council is looking at a bill that will allow which cars to park for free in the city?
a) Any vehicle that hasn't received a red-light camera ticket in the last year.
b) Any fuel-efficient chariot with low emissions.
c) Vehicles being used for business.
1) C. The nun's habit with the inflatable belly and the priest's robe with the inflatable crotch offended Valerie Lubitz, who went to the store to protest with a rosary and a sign reading: This store promotes Catholic bigotry. Storeowner Chris Scott says if he took everything that could offend someone off the shelves, there wouldn't be anything left to sell.
2) D. Was it 1608 when Montoya announced he founded a settlement in Santa Fe? Or was it when Pedro de Peralta, the newly appointed governor, got to New Mexico in 1610? There are other dates that could stand as the start of our capital city as well. Either way, the City Different plans to kick off its birthday celebration next year and end it in 2010.
3) A. Tim Carroll and Doug Turner of the D.W. Turner firm placed an offer with E. W. Scripps Co., the company that owns the Tribune. Scripps announced in August that the paper was up for sale, and if no one bought it, Albuquerque's afternoon daily would see its end.
4) B. Vehicles that pass a "Green Vehicle Guide" would be allowed to park free, even if they aren't hybrids, if the measure is passed. Today, hybrids can park in Old Town, Downtown and Nob Hill free. But Mayor Martin Chavez points out that just because a car is a hybrid doesn't mean it has low emissions.
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