Answer Me This
By Simon McCormack
How does cancer's latest foe do battle? How much is APS paying its educational assistants? How did a Northern New Mexico resident get caught by Johnny Law? And what does the "Governator" think about the sticky-icky?
1) Scientists have tweaked a smallpox-like virus so that it now fights cancer. How does it work?
a. By slowing the generation of cancerous cells.
b. By helping the body increase energy levels, allowing cancer patients to receive stronger doses of chemotherapy.
c. By killing cancerous cells and causing the body to create more cancer-fighting white blood cells.
d. By seducing the cancer cells, making love to them and then eating them à la female black widows.
2) What's the average annual salary for educational assistants in APS?
d. Most EAs are working for college credi
3) Who called the cops on a Stanley, N.M., man arrested for driving 100 miles an hour while intoxicated?
a. His daughter, who was in the car with him.
b. His wife, who said she'd finally had enough of her husband's reckless driving.
c. His dog, for unknown reasons (a lack of walks is suspected).
d. His neighbors, who wanted to get back at him for a noise complaint he filed against them.
4) What were California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's recent musings on marijuana?
a. It's not a drug.
b. It should be legalized.
c. It's more harmful than cocaine.
d. He smokes it regularly and sometimes performs his duties as governor while he's "a little high."
1) C. The virus has had success fighting cancer in animals but has not been tested on humans. The treatment is especially attractive because it kills cancerous cells while leaving normal cells unharmed.
2) B. More than half of APS' 1,900 educational assistants, who work part-time, make less than $11 an hour but the Albuquerque Educational Assistants Association plans to ask the Legislature for pay raises during its next session in January.
3) A. Using her cell phone, the daughter of Robert Montoya, 52, called the Santa Fe County Sheriff's Department when she became concerned about her dad's driving. Deputies caught up with Montoya at his brother's house in Stanley and charged him with aggravated driving while intoxicated and child abuse.
4) A. Schwarzenegger told the British version of GQ Magazine that marijuana is "not a drug. It's a leaf." The governor's press secretary, Aaron McLear, says Schwarzenegger was joking and that he made his comments in a "silly entertainment context."
Mastering the BJ: Interactive Skills at Self Serve
Homemade Toothpaste & Mouthwash at The Source
April Fool's Day at ABQ BioPark ZooMore Recommented Events ››