Odds & Ends
Eric J. Garcia
Dateline: England—A 30-year-old woman in Salford, Greater Manchester, had to be cut free after accidentally impaling herself on a statue of the Hindu goddess Kali. According to London’s Telegraph, the unnamed woman fell onto the statue impaling her arm on several three-inch metal spikes attached to the devotional artwork. “We had to cut through the part that she had impaled her arm on,” a spokesperson for the Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service told the Telegraph. “It took us 30 minutes to free her.” The woman was taken to Hope Hospital in Salford for treatment. Kali, a dominant figure in Tantric iconography, is typically associated with death and destruction.
Dateline: Switzerland—An inflatable sculpture of dog poop the size of a house was blown away from a modern art exhibit by a surprise gust of wind. The sculpture, titled “Complex Shit” by American artist Paul McCarthy, was on display at the Paul Klee Center in Bern. Last week, a stiff wind picked up the giant brown balloon and deposited it 200 yards away—but not before knocking down electrical lines and smashing a greenhouse window. According to officials at the museum, an automatic safety device that was supposed to deflate the feces in case of a storm malfunctioned. The blow-up sculpture came to rest on the grounds of a children’s home. Museum directors have not yet decided whether to reinstall it.
Dateline: Japan—Last month, a man dressed as Winnie the Pooh apparently attacked and robbed two people because they were staring at his costume. According to police, Masayuki Ishikawa was standing on a Tokyo street corner after midnight dressed as Winnie the Pooh. He was accompanied by two other people dressed as a panther and a mouse. Mainichi Daily News reports Ishikawa picked a fight with two people, including a 27-year-old man on a street near his house, when they stared at him. “It’s uncommon to see people dressed up like this, so the victims were watching him,” a police spokesperson said. “Then the perpetrator came up and said, ‘What are you staring at?’ ” Ishikawa dragged the victims to a nearby park, where he robbed them of about 18,000 yen ($160) in cash. “It seemed like the thing to do at the time,” Ishikawa told police. Ishikawa said the group donned the unusual garb because they had run out of clean clothes.
Dateline: Washington—A pack of adorable puppies attacked and partially devoured a wheelchair-bound cancer victim. Investigators in Parkland believe 55-year-old Michael Warner was abandoned by his daughter and her friend, who was also Warner’s unlicensed caretaker. Warner was attacked after he was left lying on the floor of his home with 18 puppies and several adult dogs who had not been given food for days. Warner was unable to care for or defend himself due to his deteriorating medical condition. “We believe some animals were left behind that were not fed, and some of the puppies got to him,” Pierce County Det. Ed Troyer told KOMO News. “Not intentionally attacked him, but used him as a food source. There’s just not a nicer way to say it.” Warner was listed in critical condition in Tacoma General Hospital and was unable to communicate with investigators. Warner’s daughter, Yvonne Bell, and her friend, Jennifer Markwith, were arrested. Charges are pending.
Dateline: Colorado—Police in Longmont are searching for a man who showed up to an adult novelty shop three times last month claiming to be a police detective with the city’s “age verification unit.” All he needed was a pile of free, X-rated DVDs from the store’s shelves so that he could make sure none of the performers were underage. Not so surprisingly, his request was turned down each time. The third time the man showed up in a nine-day period, the store manager called police. Authorities said the man in question showed a badge and left a card from the Longmont Police Department’s “age verification unit.” Cmdr. Tim Lewis told reporters there is no such unit in Longmont. “It was inventive on his part, I’ll give him that,” Lewis added.
Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. E-mail your weird news to firstname.lastname@example.org.