Dateline: Australia—A restaurant in a suburb of Adelaide has been ordered to pay a blind customer $1,500 restitution after refusing the man entry under the misguided impression that his guide dog was a “gay” dog. Adelaide’s The Advertiser reported that Ian Jolly, 57, was barred from dining at Thai Spice restaurant in May 2009 after a staff member mistook his guide dog Nudge for a homosexual canine. Restaurant owners Hong Hoa Thi To and Ahn Hoang Le said in an official statement to the Equal Opportunity Tribunal that Thai Spice waiters understood Mr. Jolly’s partner, Ms. Chris Lawrence, “to be saying she wanted to bring a gay dog into the restaurant.” Although the restaurant is required by law to accept guide dogs and even displays a sign to that effect, there is no government policy on gay dogs. So, the restaurant refused to seat Jolly, Lawrence and the dog. “The staff genuinely believed that Nudge was an ordinary pet dog which had been desexed to become a gay dog,” the owners’ statement went on to say. As a result of the Tribunal’s conciliation hearing, the restaurant owners agreed to provide Mr. Jolly with a written apology, pay him $1,500 and attend an Equal Opportunity education course.
Dateline: Scotland—An inebriated shopper has been cleared of charges that he unzipped his pants and plopped his manhood on a fruit and vegetable scale at a supermarket in Edinburgh. Scotmid staff told Edinburgh Sheriff Court they were “too shocked to speak” after apparently seeing James Jones, 33, and another man exposing themselves in the store. Shop assistant Melanie Guglielmino, 31, told the court, “I was pushing my trolley from the warehouse into the aisle and I saw two guys at the scales at the fruit and veg section. One of them said, ‘We are just weighing our private parts,’ but he used a different word.” Footage from a CCTV camera in the Moredun Park Road shop was shown in court. Mr. Jones was seen standing on a step stool at a set of weighing scales but had his back turned to the camera. The father of three admitted to being drunk in the store but denied the prank had actually taken place. “I stood on the stool pissing about a bit, but I can’t remember what I was doing. I never got it out,” Jones told officers. “I have been framed.” Since the sheriff was unable to corroborate the witness’ statement with the CCTV footage, Jones was acquitted. “The standard of proof is a high one,” said Sheriff Neil MacKinnon at the conclusion of the four-hour trial. “I am unable to conclude that the precise act did take place.”
Dateline: Ohio—The primary county health office in the city of Lancaster, 30 miles southeast of Columbus, has been closed due to health concerns. Officials with the Fairfield County Department of Health admitted last Wednesday that their offices would be shut down through the weekend so that the building could be cleaned and fumigated, thanks to an infestation of fleas. Fleas can transmit diseases, but county Health Commissioner Frank Hirsch assured locals there was no need for concern. “I don’t think it is a health risk,” Hirsch told the Lancaster Eagle-Gazette. “It’s been an ongoing problem in the building for years.”
Dateline: Illinois—The Highland News Leader reports that a drunk driver plowed his Ford Escort through the front wall of the Monkey Shak tavern in Madison County at around 1 a.m. on Sunday, April 25. Eager to leave the scene of his crime, he then drove the vehicle through the entire tavern and out the back wall of the business. The vehicle finally came to a stop after it struck a picnic table behind the bar. At that point, several patrons at the bar confiscated the driver’s keys. According to police reports, driver Nick P. Duffin of Alhambra then tried to get away in another person’s vehicle, but about 10 bar patrons stopped him. Duffin was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol and failure to reduce speed to avoid an accident. Miraculously, no one was injured when Duffin’s car plowed though the bar.