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 Sep 6 - 12, 2012 
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Odds & Ends

By Devin D. O’Leary
Odds and Ends

Dateline: Uganda

An unlucky thief seems to have given himself an instant dose of highly infectious karma after stealing a cell phone from a hospital. According to the Daily Monitor, medical officials in western Uganda have registered a case in which a man allegedly contracted the deadly hemmoraghic fever Ebola after sneaking into the isolation ward at Kagadi Hospital and stealing a cellular phone. The phone, worth an estimated 60,000 Ugandan shillings (about $24), belonged to an Ebola-infected patient being treated in the hospital. The patient, who has since succumbed to the disease, reported the theft to hospital security. Investigators started tracking down the unnamed 40-year-old thief after he started using the phone to call his friends. Before police could locate him, the illin’ villain got sick and checked into the very same hospital where he committed the robbery. “The suspect is admitted at Kagadi Hospital with clinical signs of Ebola,” Dr. Dan Kyamanywa, a health officer in the Kibaale District, told reporters. “He is receiving medication.” While at the hospital, the thief reportedly confessed to stealing the phone and turned it over to Kagadi police.

Dateline: Germany

A track and field official in Düsseldorf has died after being impaled in the throat by a javelin. Dieter Strack, 74, was judging a youth athletics event in the western German city on Sunday when the accident occurred. “The popular and experienced sports judge was the victim of a tragic accident while carrying out his duties on 26 August,” the local athletics association announced on its website. “All of us who were there are horrified and in shock.” Police opened an investigation into the official’s death, but initial indications are that it was simply an accident. The 15-year-old athlete who threw the javelin is said to be receiving psychological counseling.

Dateline: China

Who says romance is dead? It’s merely passed out from lack of oxygen. A man identified as Hu Seng sealed himself up in a cardboard box and paid a courier company to deliver him to his girlfriend in the southern Chinese city of Chongqing. Unfortunately, drivers mixed up the addresses. Instead of being delivered in 30 minutes, Hu spent more than three hours inside the taped-up cardboard container. When the package finally did arrive at the office of Li Wang, Hu had passed out and had to be revived by paramedics. To make matters worse, Hu had arranged for a friend to be there, recording the entire romantic-gesture-gone-wrong on video. “I didn’t realize it would take so long,” Hu told reporters. “I tried to make a hole in the cardboard, but it was too thick and I didn’t want to spoil the surprise by shouting.” A spokesperson for the courier company said, “If he’d told us what he was doing at the start we would not have taken the parcel. Even when we accept animals they have to go in special containers so they can breathe.” The stunt was intend to be a birthday surprise for Li, who—if the video is any indication—was definitely surprised.

Dateline: Texas

The mayor of a tiny town outside San Antonio has been found dead, apparently killed by a 500-pound donkey. The Atascosa County Sheriff’s Office said 65-year-old Mayor William Bohlke was attacked by an aggressive male donkey he kept on his ranch near the town of Hollywood Park. His body was found Monday night during a search by deputies and family members. “It is with great regret that we, the family of Bill Bohlke, wish to inform you of his passing last night, Aug. 27, 2012,” said Bohlke’s family in a statement. “Bill suffered a fatal injury while taking care of his prized cow herd near Pleasanton last evening.” For the time being, Mayor Pro Tem Steve Phillips will serve as acting mayor of Hollywood Park. Chief Deputy David Soward said it was up the family to decide what to do with the donkey.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
 
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