Crib Notes: Oct. 24, 2013
By August March
Warner Independent Pictures
1) Walter White’s funeral raised some eyebrows because:
a) It raised over a million dollars for charity.
b) Very few members of the DiMeo crime family attended.
c) Some attendees openly consumed Substance D at the event.
d) The funeral was for a fictional character on teevee, yo.
2) The above-referenced funeral was to be streamed on Youtube, but this part of the event was blocked because:
a) It would be a violation of applicable copyright laws.
b) It is forbidden to depict unwholesome events on the interwebz.
c) The Chinese protested the funeral at the UN.
d) Magnets, bitch.
3) A USA Today poll ranked which UNM sports team number 17 in the nation?
a) Women’s tennis
b) Coed cricket
c) Men’s basketball
d) Formula One racing
Anonymous/ Associated Press
4) What are this year’s two most popular Halloween costumes?
a) Miley Cyrus and Walter White
b) Cthulhu and Yog-Sothoth
c) David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen
d) Enid Coleslaw and Rebecca Doppelmeyer
5) A cloud of what substance caused a Hazmat situation in southern New Mexico last week?
a) Depleted uranium
b) Chili powder
c) Tortilla juice
1) D. Some folks complained that a funeral for a fictional television personage was disrespectful to those actually in need of a final earthly resting place and their families. Organizers responded to the criticism by choosing to relocate W.W.’s headstone at the Village Shops at Los Ranchos.
2) A. A corporation called Sony blocked the webcast of Walter’s funeral.
3) C. USA Today ranked the UNM men’s basketball team 17th in the nation in a recent preseason poll.
4) A. Google sez Miley and Walter are outpacing all other late-October imitative threads.
5) B. KRQE reported that after workers complained of “irritated eyes, sore throats and bloody noses,” the regional Hazmat team traveled to a Las Cruces factory and discovered a cloud of habanero chili powder.
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