Crib Notes: Oct. 24, 2013
By August March
1) Walter White’s funeral raised some eyebrows because:
a) It raised over a million dollars for charity.
b) Very few members of the DiMeo crime family attended.
c) Some attendees openly consumed Substance D at the event.
d) The funeral was for a fictional character on teevee, yo.
2) The above-referenced funeral was to be streamed on Youtube, but this part of the event was blocked because:
a) It would be a violation of applicable copyright laws.
b) It is forbidden to depict unwholesome events on the interwebz.
c) The Chinese protested the funeral at the UN.
d) Magnets, bitch.
3) A USA Today poll ranked which UNM sports team number 17 in the nation?
a) Women’s tennis
b) Coed cricket
c) Men’s basketball
d) Formula One racing
4) What are this year’s two most popular Halloween costumes?
a) Miley Cyrus and Walter White
b) Cthulhu and Yog-Sothoth
c) David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen
d) Enid Coleslaw and Rebecca Doppelmeyer
5) A cloud of what substance caused a Hazmat situation in southern New Mexico last week?
a) Depleted uranium
b) Chili powder
c) Tortilla juice
1) D. Some folks complained that a funeral for a fictional television personage was disrespectful to those actually in need of a final earthly resting place and their families. Organizers responded to the criticism by choosing to relocate W.W.’s headstone at the Village Shops at Los Ranchos.
2) A. A corporation called Sony blocked the webcast of Walter’s funeral.
3) C. USA Today ranked the UNM men’s basketball team 17th in the nation in a recent preseason poll.
4) A. Google sez Miley and Walter are outpacing all other late-October imitative threads.
5) B. KRQE reported that after workers complained of “irritated eyes, sore throats and bloody noses,” the regional Hazmat team traveled to a Las Cruces factory and discovered a cloud of habanero chili powder.
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