Crib Notes: Dec. 26, 2013
By August March
1) So far the state of New Mexico has paid over a million dollars for a high-tech piece of laboratory equipment that—while essential—never worked. What kind of machine is the state lab paying consultants additional tens of thousands to try to fix?
a) A device for analyzing Manny Aragon’s post-incarceration mind
b) A tissue digester for destroying diseased animal carcasses
c) A tool for measuring the lack of measurable rain in this place
d) Something like in The Mist by Stephen King—but without giant spiders
2) At last week’s New Mexico Bowl, Colorado State squeaked by Washington State to take one of the nation’s more prestigious post-season college football awards. With what appellation did The Seattle Times refer to this travesty?
a) The Beatdown in Burque
b) Death in the Duke City
c) Southwest Slaughterhouse
d) The Atrocity in Albuquerque
World of Warplanes
3) A reinvigorated Eclipse Aviation announced last week that it will be adding 100 manufacturing jobs to our city’s struggling economy. What does Eclipse Aviation manufacture out there by the airport?
a) The Eclipse 550 twin-engine commuter jet
b) The Eclipse 137 personal jet pack with picnic kit
c) The Eclipse multipurpose TARDIS and telephone box
d) Artificial, steam-powered birds with brass fittings
The Flaming Lips
4) APD is being sued again. Why are lawyers taking the city’s finest to court this time around?
a) Cops are eating too many donuts, causing a statewide shortage.
b) Police hats are too similar to those of mail delivery personnel.
c) The DWI vehicle seizure ordinance is unconstitutional.
d) Because they can.
5) After the New Mexico Supreme Court upheld the legality of same-sex marriage in our state, the Roosevelt County Clerk resigned in protest. What’s the county seat out there in Roosevelt?
1) B. After spending millions of dollars and calling in several experts in the field, the Animal Tissue Digester at the State Laboratory still does not function properly.
2) D. Times sportswriter Bud Withers referred to this classic gridiron battle as “the Atrocity in Albuquerque.”
3) A. Eclipse Aviation manufactures jet aeroplanes for commercial use, like the Eclipse 550. They’ll be ramping up production and adding 100 jobs in 2014.
4) C. Albuquerque Journal sez, “... a class-action lawsuit filed Tuesday accuses Albuquerque police of illegally seizing vehicles from people accused of drunken driving and selling them to pad the city budget.”
5) A. Portales. Roosevelt County Clerk Donna Carpenter and her deputy, Janet Collins, resigned over the court decision.
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