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 V.23 No.8 | February 20 - 26, 2014 

Odds & Ends

Dateline: England

A 26-year-old woman decided to get “revenge” on her ex-boyfriend by removing a tattoo of his name. With a scalpel. And then mailing it to him. According to the Mirror newspaper, Torz Reynolds was angry after learning that her boyfriend Stuart “Chopper” May had allegedly been cheating on her. She also says he lied to her about immigrating to Alaska for his dream job. A week after seeing him off at the airport, Ms. Reynolds was shocked to learn from friends that Chopper had not left the country. Furious, Reynolds plotted her revenge. She spent an hour and a half carefully slicing the skin off her forearm, upon which the words “Chopper’s Bitch” had been tattooed. She placed the skin in a jar and mailed it to May. “I packaged it up so it really did look like a present. I even used different handwriting so he’d have no idea that it was me,” Reynolds, who works as a body piercer at the Kings Cross Tattoo Parlour, told the Mirror. “I can’t imagine what his reaction was. I wish I could have been there to see it.” Hard to believe Chopper wanted to get away from this woman. “At the end of the day, it’s only skin and it will grow back,” said Reynolds. “I absolutely recommend it to other people.” In fact, the macabre act provided so much closure, Reynolds is thinking of starting a business for other people who want their tattoos sliced off and sent to their exes through the mail.

Dateline: Australia

A teenager is accused of robbing a convenience store with nothing more than a flower pot and a chainsaw. Steven Frank Steele of Ipswich, Queensland, was arrested on Monday, Feb. 10, after police responded to a call from employees terrified by a man brandishing a chainsaw inside a 7-Eleven. According to the Queensland Times, the suspect wore a flower pot over his head in an attempt to hide his identity, but was clearly captured on surveillance cameras. Steele allegedly lunged at employees and damaged a window and several display racks with his power tool. The pothead also allegedly flashed his buttocks at employees. Following his chainsaw rampage, he stole a single bottle of soda and made his escape. Steele was arrested a short time later after police saw him walking down a nearby street. The chainsaw was found in a bush near the convenience store. Steele has been charged with multiple crimes, including armed robbery, willful damage and public nuisance. Not so surprisingly, police believe he was drunk at the time of the crime.

Dateline: Texas

An 18-year-old, wearing a banana costume and carrying an AK-47, was detained by Beaumont Police after several worried citizens reported seeing him wandering around a busy intersection. Police arrived to find the teenager with the automatic rifle slung across his back and carrying a large cardboard arrow. Turns out the stunt was all a promotion for Golden Triangle Tactical, a newly relocated gun store owned by Derek Poe. The gun-wielding banana boy was issued a citation for violating a city ordinance that prohibits soliciting next to a road. According to the Houston Chronicle, he could face possible criminal charges for displaying the weapon. The store’s gun-loving owner had a previous run-in with local police last December after he was spotted carrying an AR-15 through the Parkdale Mall. According to KMBT-TV, Poe told police he was just exercising his Second Amendment rights. Since the mall is private property and patrons reported being “terrified” of the gun-toting shopper, the weapon was seized, and Poe was charged with disorderly conduct.

Dateline: Oregon

A self-described pimp is suing sneaker manufacturer Nike for failing to place a warning label on their shoes indicating that they could be considered a dangerous weapon. Sirgiorgiro Clardy, 26, was arrested in June of 2012 for repeatedly stomping on the face of a client with his Air Jordans after the client refused to pay for the services of Clardy’s prostitute. The man required stitches and plastic surgery. Clardy was sentenced to 100 years in prison for beating the man, as well as attacking an 18-year-old prostitute so violently that she bled from the ears. In declaring him guilty, the jury called Clardy a “dangerous offender” and classified his shoes as “a dangerous weapon” in order to assure he’d receive the longest prison sentence possible. Now, according to The Oregonian newspaper, Clardy has issued a three-page complaint against Nike from the Eastern Oregon Correctional Institution where he is housed, claiming that the shoe company “failed to warn of risk or provide an adequate warning or instruction” against attacking people with their product. Clardy is seeking $100 million in damages.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.
 
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