We watched the ocelots a lot, But all they did was fought and fought, So then we had another thought, We'd look for something gnu.
The Tasmanian devil's a nasty old fellow, He's always mad, never just mellow. They threw him out of Pocatello, For eating their kangaroo.
Ever watch a hippo dine On oats and grain and fine white wine? Worth standing in a lengthy line, Just to watch him chew.
Llama ding and Llama Dong Could never seem to get along. Except for spitting on passing throng, What llama see, llama do.
Our parrot Zeke will often speak Of the mate he failed to keep. He spent with her a lovely week At another zoo.
The boa constrictor got into the liquor, The more he drank the sicker and sicker, And hissy-fits came quicker and quicker, So everything ended in rue.
Our owl at night will take to flight And with her wings and mighty sight Will give the mice a ghastly fright. By day, she just says “Who.”
The monkey troop will swing and sway And you will waste another day But you will want to stay and stay Till they start watching you.
The bear in there has lost his hair But nude he didn't seem to care. He walked with such a regal air, I stripped to naked, too.
Tiger Tess was in distress All wrinkled up. Oh, what a mess. She went in for a clean and press And a stripe redo.
Elephant's in a major funk. No noise would come from massive trunk. The cries of “Mute!” she must debunk. So she began to moo.
The peacock's tail will never fail To catch the eye of another male. But a hen he must regale So now he wears J. Crew.
—Little Jimmy Berry
Dig Deeper Into Wage Issue
The minimum wage article in your Feb. 27 issue deserves deeper consideration of this important national issue and less conjecture from Mr. Gessing. I would like to refer your readers interested in the facts to the New York Times editorial of Feb. 8, "The Case For A Higher Minimum Wage.” I will quote a small section which contradicts Mr. Gessing's assumptions.
"Does it kill jobs? The minimum wage is one of the most thoroughly researched issues in economics. Studies in the last 20 years have been especially informative, as economists have been able to compare states that raised the wage above the federal level with those that did not.
The weight of the evidence shows that increases in the minimum wage have lifted pay without hurting employment, a point that was driven home in a recent letter to Mr. Obama and congressional leaders, signed by more than 600 economists, among them Nobel laureates and past presidents of the American Economic Association.”
That economic conclusion dovetails with a recent comprehensive study, which found that minimum wage increases resulted in "strong earnings effects"—that is, higher pay—"and no employment effects"—that is, zero job loss.
Harm Reduction Correction
Dear Alibi readers,
An earlier version of “Mediating Heroin and Harm Reduction,” which appeared in print volume 23, no. 10, incorrectly stated that SB 241 passed to the governor’s desk during the 2014 legislative session. In fact, SB 241 stalled in committee. Weekly Alibi regrets the error.
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