Alibi V.24 No.49 • Dec 3-9, 2015 

Odds & Ends

Odds and Ends

Dateline: Zimbabwe

There was some serious controversy at Zimbabwe’s annual “Mister Ugly” contest after the reigning champ lost out to a newcomer deemed by some as “too handsome” to hold the title. Based on his missing teeth and “unpleasant facial expressions,” judges chose 42-year-old Mison Sere as the winner of the 4th annual Mister Ugly competition. William Masvinu, who has held the title since 2012, attacked the judges decision, saying, “I am naturally ugly. He is not. He is ugly only when he opens his mouth.” Another contestant, Patrick Mupereki, accused Sere of “cheating,” asking, “Do we have to lose out teeth to win?” According to local press,the crowd at the event turned violent and mobbed the judges after Sere’s controversial upset victory was announced. Sere, who took home the contest’s top prize of $500, dismissed his critics as “sore losers.” “They should just accept that I am uglier than them.” he said. “I hope to get a TV contract. I already moved around schools performing and showing my ugliness, so this is a chance to make it on TV.”

Dateline: Canada

An intoxicated driver was charged with “impaired care or control” after he called York Regional Police and requested assistance in getting his vehicle started. According to a media release by the YRP, 27-year-old Andrew Scuglia of Richmond Hill phoned a police non-emergency number shortly after 2:30am on Tuesday, Nov. 24, to report an inability to get his car started. The dispatcher could “hear the engine revving in the background as the driver attempted to get his vehicle moving.” Officers soon located the car, which “was running, with the lights and windshield wipers on.” According to the responding officers, the driver allegedly showed “obvious signs of intoxication.” He was arrested and taken to district headquarters where he blew over the legal limit on a breath alcohol test.

Dateline: Georgia

Gregory Miller, 56, was arrested after he ran over himself trying to steal a beer truck from a local gas station. Miller was apprehended after attempting to steal a Coors Light delivery truck from a Circle K gas station in Columbus around 6am on Monday, Nov. 23. The Ledger-Enquirer reports the driver of the delivery truck was inside the gas station when Miller jumped into the vehicle and drove off. The beer lover drove the truck to a nearby Bojangles restaurant and stashed it in the parking lot. Columbus Police Capt. Tony Danford told the newspaper the driver exited the truck, at which point “he fell under it and the truck ran over his right leg.” Miller was arrested. He was taken to an area hospital where he was listed as being in “unsatisfactory condition with a severe ankle injury.”

Dateline: Florida

Police in Jacksonville Beach say the Dark Lord of the Sith Darth Vader was foiled by a jar of salad dressing as he attempted to rob a convenience store. Investigators told the Florida Times-Union a man dressed as Darth Vader entered the 8 til Late convenience store on S. Third Street around 5:30pm on Sunday, Nov. 22. The man, later identified as 32-year-old Jacob Jeremy Mercer of Tonawanda, N.Y., brandished a silver handgun and demanded money. The clerk, who refused to hand over the cash, got into a tussle with Mercer and ended up flinging a jar of salad dressing at the black-clad villain. The jar struck Vader in the noggin, damaging his trademark helmet. The robber exited the store, removed his mask and escaped in a silver car with New York plates. The car was later found at a nearby residence. Mercer, who was bleeding from the bridge of his nose, was removed from the residence and identified by one of the witnesses. Several handguns and ammunition were found in Mercer’s backpack, the police report said. He was taken to Duval County Jail and charged with armed robbery and possession of a firearm by a felon.

Dateline: New York

The US Military Academy at West Point has decided to ban pillow fights after 30 cadets were wounded during a bloody, goose-down-filled rampage earlier this summer. Since 2001, first-year students, known as “plebes,” have organized the annual pillow fight as a way to build camaraderie. But this year’s pillow fight on Aug. 20 reportedly escalated into a violent brawl with several plebes being hit from behind and knocked to the ground. Reported injuries included a broken nose, a fractured cheek and 24 diagnosed concussions. “While never officially sanctioned, [the pillow fight] is now officially banned, and we will take appropriate action to ensure that all faculty, staff, leaders, the Corps of Cadets and everyone at West Point knows that it will not be tolerated,” West Point Superintendent Lt. Gen. Robert Caslen said in a statement. According to a report on the pillow fight released earlier this month, upper-class cadets did not take proper control of the fight. The report said upper-class behavior “ranged from throwing items such as small milk cartons, water balloons, fruit and glow sticks from barracks to yelling at plebes and encouraging them ‘get back into the fight.’” Several of the participants in this year’s pillow fight were reportedly dressed in full body armor.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.