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Free Will AstrologyAlibi's Personals
 V.25 No.44 | November 3 - 9, 2016 

Baked Goods

Spice of Life

The Verdes Foundation dishes out the samples

Rob M.
I'm a man who appreciates variety. My cupboard is currently sporting six different types of cereal ranging from supposedly healthy fiber-and-grain choices to the marshmallow-laden “not-candy” breakfasts preferred by children. (Note: There are no children living in my apartment.) When it comes to cannabis, there are too many strains to name in one breath, and each one can have its own unique effects. Some are good for focusing on a task and churning out work. Some are good for relaxing and easing tension. Some wrangle pain. Some make you feel less awkward. Some break down the walls of the ego and let in all that love, love, love.

Needless to say, it's important to dose properly according to one's need at the time. Taking a wide-eyed sativa before bed will likely keep you awake or give you nightmares. Hit the wrong indica too early and your morning is shot—turned into more of a hazy sensation than a memory. I personally try to keep a good three to four strain options on hand. The coolest thing to me about the medical cannabis program is my ability to walk into a dispensary and just start pointing at different strains. “I want a gram of that one. And a gram of that one. And some of this. And—Oo! What's that?”

Which is why I've been avoiding the Verdes Foundation for months now. Not because they have a low strain count or anything (in fact, they had one of the nicest selections I've seen), but because their website gives the impression that they only sell flower in 1/8-ounce increments (that's around 3.5 grams for all you math-heads out there). The thing is: Every time I started exchanging notes with people, their name always popped up, once from an employee at another dispensary.

So, I did what I had to. I pleaded my case in an email that stank of desperation. Let's figure out some kind of deal here, I told them. Maybe a sample package or something. I'm a poor and undervalued reporter that needs his medicine, dammit!

The reply? A phone call: “No problem. We absolutely sell grams. We just haven't fixed the site, yet. Cool your jets there, airline Lee.” (That last part, I added myself.)

I was already in my car.

Bedtime Blend
Bedtime Blend

When I got to Verdes, the place was packed to the gills. Another patient complimented my Batman shirt (a good sign). The staff was working through the crowd like it wasn't there, and by the time I'd finished filling out my new patient forms and drilling my budtender, Jonni, on practically every flower on the menu, I realized the place had emptied and I was talking too loudly. “I want a good wake-up sativa!” I shouted in the sudden stillness. “And a good sleepy-time indica,” I whispered.

I looked around, embarrassed, and turned back in time to see Jonni flip a sign around to face me. “We have pre-rolls of what we call 'Jump Start' and 'Bedtime Blend.' Perfect for waking up and going to sleep.” They were each made of a proprietary blend of strains.

God bless you, Verdes.

Back home on top of Old Sailor (my couch's nickname), I got to work on the “sample” (Verdes-speak for “gram”) I'd picked up of Purple Crack (THC: 19%, CBD: 0.3%—$10/“sample”). It was a beautiful hybrid that smelled like Christmas. The medicine bottle it came in said it was good for relaxation and pain, and I had no arguments. The indica side of the experience gave me a strong body high, but wasn't accompanied by the usual swimming head. Instead, I felt calm but aware. Relaxed, but attentive.

Before bed I pulled out the Bedtime Blend ($12.50/pre-roll) joint and managed to get through three whole puffs before my eyelids started threatening to strike. It tasted sweet and flowery and lead to sweet and flowery dreams, full of saccharine sentiment and lazy metaphor.

Purple Crack
Purple Crack

When I woke up, I felt refreshed and happy. I decided to start hammering at the Jump Start ($12.50/pre-roll) before I started mixing it with my medical caffeine (no card needed) to get a cleaner result. Though I smoke it every day, the first kick of a sativa always gives me a blast of delight. All of these seemingly alien and plainly clever ideas come gushing out of my mind's pores like a dam has been released. It tickles.

The Jump Start blend was in a class of its own, though. I was be-bopping around the apartment, whistling and humming while I got dressed. The entire time, while one portion of my brain handled the tooth-brushing and ironing, another part continued on its merry way, organizing my plans for the day and dropping funny bits and puns when it could.

“You forgot you're coffee,” it said.

Verdes Foundation
6005 Coronado NE
(505) 280-2814
Hours: Mon-Fri 10am-5:30pm, Sat 10:30am-4pm
First-time Freebies: Yes

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