Alibi V.26 No.2 • Jan 12-18, 2017 

Baked Goods

Remedial Math: Part Deux

Crunching numbers at Organtica

Baked Goods logo
Rob M.
Time to put the mathematician hat back on. I'd thought my run-ins with THCA listings were done after my visit to Urban Wellness last year. If you remember, they were advertising their strains' THCA percent (as opposed to THC percent). This practice can be misleading, since the THCA number will always be higher. As I explained then, it takes a slightly complicated math formula to find the actual THC percentage, which is so prominently displayed by practically every other dispensary. At its best, a well-meaning dispensary that advertises THCA percentage is unintentionally misleading patients. Urban Wellness changed their policy within a week or two of the review seeing print, and now uses THC percentages like everybody else.

So I threw away my calculator. It was one of those expensive beasts with a built-in transistor radio and the works. We'd had an on-again off-again relationship since I'd started figuring out tip amounts in my head, and I'd finally decided to make a permanent break. (They call this “foreshadowing.” Would I need that calculator later? Most likely!)

To celebrate my new freedom, I went to peek in at Organtica, a fairly new storefront with a lime green color scheme that emits some sort of force that attracts dummies like me.

The small showroom was in-the-round, and on entering, I found myself surrounded on all sides by friendly staff, bored by the lull in business. My budtender enthusiastically showed off the locally made pipes they had for sale and some packaging on display (empty unfortunately), that would be used for strains they plan to carry in the near future.

Zak Haze pre-roll
Zak Haze pre-roll
Joshua Lee
The 'tender then began to explain the somewhat complicated process of ordering medicine. Here's what I got: You can buy flower as either a two-gram package containing buds, as a one-gram pre-roll or as a half-gram pre-roll. Half of the strains available that day were two-gram buds, half were one-gram joints.

I immediately started having trouble. So, can I get a gram of that? No. Just a two-gram. A gram of this? Yes, but only as a joint. Her blonde hair and Southern drawl reminded me of my 11th grade algebra teacher.

Oh, Ms. Longbotham, if only you could see the numbers I'm juggling now.

With some help from the budtender, I managed to make an order. I grabbed two joints and a pack of flower. I was a little irked because I tend to buy single grams of multiple strains so I can properly dose myself at different times of the day with different results in mind. Being forced to get a two-gram pack is obnoxious. And in most other stores, a pre-rolled gram costs $10 or less. The $12 price tag, while not painfully high, was annoying since I prefer to grind my own buds right before I smoke them (less surface area means slower deterioration while in storage). But when I saw the cute little pug eyeballing me from the photo on that two-gram package of Tres Dawg, I felt my irritation slip a little.

Back home, I dug through my spoils and discovered that the labels didn't list THC percent, just THCA. The displays in the store had definitely listed it, but here, when I needed it for my review notes, it was nowhere to be found. I suddenly missed my calculator like a hacked off limb.

Okay. Here's the formula: THC total = (%THCA) x 0.877 + (%THC). I tried it on my fingers first, then on a piece of paper. Let's see … That puts Zak Haze’s THC percent around 20 (THC: 20.28%, CBD: 0.04 %—$12/pre-roll gram) and Tres Dawg’s THC percent around 23 (THC: 23.08%, CBD: 0.04 %—$24/two grams) if I calculate correctly. Sheesh!

Tres Dawg
Tres Dawg
Joshua Lee
I started with Tres Dawg, an indica-dominant hybrid that smelled and tasted sour with a hint of diesel. With the second hit, I was already feeling the powerful effects. Halfway through the bowl I caught myself just sitting and staring at a spot on the wall. At least a few minutes had passed without a single identifiable thought crossing the threshold of awareness. My body had melted away along with time and sense of self. I was pain-free, sleepy and zooming through space—perfect for pain and insomnia. I quickly puffed through the rest.

After a light lunch and a walk, I eagerly fired up a pinch of Zak Haze. I'll say this: Even though I was irritated about having to buy my gram as a pre-roll, they definitely didn't short on it. I poured the cannabis out of the paper (as I am wont to do) and found a clumpy mound of freshly ground medicine, not the usual dregs I find from other store's joints.

I'd been waiting for this one, because it's an original strain from Organtica. Their site tells the story of Zak Hayes, a member of the medical cannabis industry who passed after a struggle with cystic fibrosis. The new strain was developed as a memorial of sorts for the young man and has a significantly high CBGa content (1.3% at the time of testing).

CBGa is a cannabinoid that is known for its analgesic, antibacterial, anti-inflammatory and anti-proliferative (inhibits the growth of cancer cells) properties. This strong and uniquely flavored flower held a mighty body high and an incredible sense of well-being. The long-lasting effects made Zak Haze an impressive strain.

And at the end of the day, impressive medicine makes for an impressive dispensary. But seriously, guys. Can't a playa just get a gram and call it a day? All these numbers are making my head hurt.

Organtica
4001 Menaul NE
(505) 437-0111
Hours: Mon-Fri 10am-7pm, Sat 10am-5pm, Sun noon-5pm
First-time Freebies: Yes