Alibi V.26 No.23 • June 8-14, 2017 

Odds & Ends

Odds and Ends

Dateline: Palestine

Hangry? Try a Snickers. A Palestinian judge has banned divorces during the month of Ramadan because “people make hasty decisions when they’re hungry.” Mahmoud al-Habbash, head of the Palestinian Islamic sharia court system, said people who deprive themselves of food and cigarettes during daylight hours—as is traditional during the Islamic holy month of Ramadan—may “create problems” in their relationships and consequently make “quick and ill-considered decisions.” According to the Qatar-based Al Jazeera Media Network, judges will now only consider and rule on divorce applications made after the month of fasting is over. In the Occupied Palestinian Territories, there is no civil marriage, and only religious courts have the power to allow marriages and divorces. According to the Palestinian Authority, more than 50,000 weddings were celebrated in the occupied West Bank and the Gaza Strip in 2015. During the same time period, more than 8,000 divorces were granted.

Dateline: Oregon

Police officers evacuated a 7-Eleven in Beaverton after a “suspicious object” exploded inside the convenience store’s microwave oven. According to KATU-2 in Portland, a police bomb squad was dispatched to the store on May 30 and ultimately identified the object as a urine sample wrapped in a hand warmer. Police speculate the plastic cup full of pee was being warmed up by someone hoping to pass a drug test. “It appears that whoever was on his/her way to do a drug test did not feel that it was warm enough, so they decided to microwave it at 7-Eleven,” Beaverton Police spokesperson Mike Rowe said in a press release. “The chemical makeup of the hand warmer did not agree with the microwave and exploded.” Police are reportedly reviewing security camera footage from the store to find out who stuck the urine sample in the microwave. As Mr. Rowe put it, someone “most likely did not pass their UA [urinalysis] today.”

Dateline: Massachusetts

A judge at a pretrial hearing in Springfield District Court struck down defendant Orlando Melendez’ request to juggle in court, killing the visual centerpiece of his innocent plea. “The keystone to his defense is: He’s literally a clown,” the defendant, writing in the third person, explained in a motion filed last month. The juggling request elicited a curt, one-word response from Judge Robert Murphy: “Denied.” Melendez, 20, is charged with using a toy gun during an attempted robbery of a Forest Park convenience store last December. Melendez has pled not guilty to two counts of attempting to commit a crime. He fired his lawyer and has been representing himself in court since February. During a hearing on May 25, Melendez outlined his defense strategy in a handwritten motion, telling the judge he was just clowning around when he walked into a Cumberland Farms store and demanded money. According to Melendez, juggling 3 wads of paper for 20 seconds would show jurors that he is, in fact, a legitimate clown. According to Melendez’ motion, the juggling act would be “not only the simplest, but the only possible proof that the defendant is a jester.” Sadly, he’ll have to come up with another way. Jury selection continues.

Dateline: Michigan

Police in suburban Detroit say a woman robbed a bank and used the money to by crab legs, among other things. Chloe Adams, 25, was formally charged in court earlier this month with bank robbery. A judge set her bond at $1 million. Police allege Adams entered the Citizen’s Bank branch in the suburb of Livonia on the morning of Saturday, May 27, and gave the teller a note demanding $10,00 “or things get bloody.” She then fled the scene with about $5,000 in cash, officials said. Detectives tracked Adams down at her home later that week and arrested her. The next day, a search of the home turned up evidence linking Adams to the bank robbery. Adams has been cooperating with investigators and told detectives she spent most of the stolen money to pay for a delinquent car loan, a trip to Chicago, a weekend cookout, a pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes and crab legs. She is scheduled to appear in court again this week.

Dateline: New York

A Sheepshead Bay father evidently taught his drug-addicted son a valuable lesson by overdosing on heroin. “I told him if you’re not going to stop, I will do the same as you do,” Sergey Gnatovskiy told the New York Post. “I [tried] to send him to rehab. He promised me he was going to go, and I found it again.” A man of his word, Mr. Gnatovskiy took his son’s fresh stash of heroin and promptly shot up. His 23-year-old son Maykl says he instantly recognized that his father was overdosing. He used CPR and a Narcan nasal spray to bring him back—something the father has had to do for his son on four separate occasions. The elder Mr. Gnatovskiy says he was feeling back to normal the next day and doesn’t recall much of his ordeal. “After seeing this, I definitely want to go [to rehab]. I’ve been doing this since I was 15. I’m 23 now. I can’t keep doing this,” said Maykl.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.