Alibi V.26 No.25 • June 22-28, 2017 

Odds & Ends

Odds and Ends

Dateline: Germany

A Polish tennis pro was penalized for yelling the word “hamburger” during a match in Stuttgart earlier this month. According to Tennis World magazine, No. 155 ranked player Jerzy Janowicz was competing in a first round match against Russian Andrey Kuznetzov at the Suttgart Open on June 13 when he allegedly read aloud part of a sign at the back of the court which included the word “hamburger.” The umpire jumped in at that moment and gave Janowicz a point penalty due to an “audible obscenity.” The Polish player spent several minutes complaining to the tournament supervisor, but the call was not reversed. Janowicz went on to win the match 6-4, 3-6, 6-3.

Dateline: Mexico

A farmer in the Oaxacan town of San Lucas Ojitlan died after getting into an “aggressive fight” with a pet pig that ended up biting his penis off. Mexico’s El Debate de Culiacán newspaper reports 60-year-old Miguel Anaya Pablo is believed to have started the fight with the animal, who lived with him, after coming home drunk from a party. Pablo provoked the pig by “jumping up and down and knocking him over.” The pig allegedly bit off the man’s manhood as well as three fingers and left him lying in a pool of blood on the floor. Neighbors later found Pablo and called an ambulance. The farmer was rushed to a nearby hospital in Tuxtepec, but died when his pig bites became infected.

Dateline: Texas

Authorities outside of Houston seized nearly $1 million worth of meth-infused lollipops shaped like Yoda (and other characters). Sheriff’s deputies in Harris County thought they were responding to a burglary call, but stumbled across a drug lab producing candy treats filled with methamphetamine instead. Outside a home in Harris County, police found a vehicle stuffed with so much meth-based candy, it was difficult to close the trunk. According to the Washington Post, police suspected the thieves were stealing from a suspected drug dealer who had turned her home into a meth lab. Once inside the home, authorities found 600 pounds of meth candy. The sheriff’s office estimated the drugged-up candy sold on the street for $20 to $40 apiece. The meth-pops were shaped into popular characters, including Yoda and R2-D2 from Star Wars, and Batman, as well as butterflies and flowers. There were “just bags and bags and bags of what appeared to be candy lollipops,” Lt. Ruben Diaz told the Houston Chronicle. Authorities are charging 38-year-old Evonne Mick and 26-year-old David Salinas with possession of a controlled substance. The owner of he house—and the evil Willy Wonka behind the manufacturing operation—has not been identified in police reports.

Dateline: New York

An actor whose credits include “Star Trek” and “Seinfeld” is running for office in New York’s 23rd congressional district—but he’s doing it as humorist Mark Twain. John Hertzler, who played a Klingon chancellor on several episodes of “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” announced earlier this month in a Facebook post that he’ll be running for the seat held by Republican Rep. Tom Reed. But he’s doing it with a “twist,” saying he’ll be “running in the persona of Mark Twain.” Hertzler says he disagrees with “everything Reed supports, including his unrelenting support of the Trumpster.” Hertzler clarified that he “will be making appearances throughout the district of 11 counties, sometimes in my birth persona as JG Hertzler and at other times I will endeavor to present my ideas and policies through the brilliant humorist for all ages, Citizen Twain.”

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com.