Odds & Ends
By Devin D. O'Leary
Dateline: Germany—A couple who went to a fertility clinic after eight childless years of marriage have been advised to try a radical new approach to impregnation: sex. Doctors at the University Clinic of Lubek subjected the couple to a series of examinations and found they were both apparently fertile and should have had no trouble conceiving. It took some time, but doctors eventually got to the root of the problem. According to a clinic spokesman, “When we asked them how often they had had sex, they looked blank and said, ’What do you mean?'” The devoutly religious couple apparently had never gotten the “birds and the bees” talk. “We are not talking retarded people here,” said the clinic spokesman, “but a couple who were brought up in a religeous environment who were simply unaware, after eight years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary to procreate.” The 30-year-old wife and her 36-year-old husband are now being given sex therapy lessons at the clinic.
Dateline: Germany—A thief, clearly unsuited for his chosen occupation, was arrested after accidentally handing his wallet over to his victim. The incident began at the Solingen-Ohiligs train station where three men forced their 29-year-old victim to turn over his wallet.The thieves emptied the wallet of its cash. Instead of giving the empty wallet back, however, one of the thieves mistakenly handed his own wallet to the victim. Naturally, the wallet contained identification papers and police quickly caught and arrested the man. One of the other thieves was arrested shortly afterward. Police are still tracking down the third suspect.
Dateline: China—Some 30 workers were buried, 11 of them killed, when several tons of garlic rained down on them. The accident, which took place earlier this month in southwestern Henan province, prompted a large-scale rescue operation. The Beijing Times reported that the workers had been stacking produce at Chenzhai Cold Storage, in the city of Zhengshou, when shelves piled nearly 40 feet high with garlic collapsed. Rescue workers were called in to dig the warehouse workers out from under the massive pile of garlic and broken shelving. Police have detained the storage facility's owner, pending an investigation.
Dateline: Ohio—Police in Ontario tried to pursuade 27-year-old Amy Logue that she had the wrong number. But, after the third time she called the local police station trying to score some drugs, they agreed to help her out. “It's the worst case of a misdialed phone number I've ever seen,” a police spokesman said. The drug deal was initially set up to take place in an empty gas station, but Logue called the cops back again and asked them to meet her at a nearby McDonald's because she didn't want to seem too obvious or suspicious to local law enforcement. Surprisingly (at least to Ms. Logue) the police soon arrived and arrested her.
Dateline: New York—Alleged, um, vandal Roger Chamberlain tried to give police the slip but was nabbed after coating an entire motel room with petroleum jelly. Authorities said a Motel 6 cleaning crew discovered mattresses, bedding, a TV set, furniture, carpeting and towels in Chamberlain slathered with rich, gooey petroleum jelly. Fourteen empty petroleum jelly jars and numerous pronographic magazines were fished out of the room's trash can, according to WNBF radio in Birmingham. Chamberlain had already checked out of the motel room by the time the mess was discovered, but a sherrif's deputy tracked Chamberlain to a nearby motel. The 44-year-old was easy to identify as he was still coated, head-to-toe, in the greasy product. Chamberlain was charged with criminal mischief and released on his own reconizance. Damage to the motel room was put at more than $1,000.
Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. E-mail your weird news to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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