Odds & Ends
By Devin D. O'Leary
Dateline: Germany—This disgusting highway spill-over story comes to us from Bremen, where a truck hauling 9,000 gallons of pig blood spilled its entire cargo on the Autobahn last Wednesday after it was rear-ended. At least one other vehicle crashed due to the sanguinary spill-over. Authorities had to close the highway for several hours. The truck had reportedly been hauling the waste blood from the Netherlands for disposal.
Dateline: Austria—Residents of the Austrian village of Fucking have voted against changing the town's historic name. The debate came up because the village's signs keep getting stolen, apparently by British tourists. The village's name (pronounced “fooking”) apparently traces back to a certain Mr. Focko and his family, who settled in the area near Salzburg in the sixth century. The “ing” suffix, meaning village or settlement, was added later. The villagers didn't find out about the English definition of the word until Allied soldiers stationed in the region in 1945 pointed out the alternate meaning. Spokesman Siegfried Hoeppl, who lives in the village of 150 or so, said, “Everyone here knows what it means in English, but for us, Fucking is Fucking—and it's going to stay that way—even though the signs keep getting stolen.”
Dateline: Kenya—According to Independent Nation TV, a Nairobi man has been arrested for impersonating a police officer and harassing residents of the capital's crime-prone Kibera slums. The bogus policeman may have given himself away by the fact that he used a shoe brush as a pistol and a sheep as a police dog. The man allegedly donned a full police uniform, but tucked a shoe-brush into his waistband to resemble a pistol. Kibera residents also told the TV station that he used to patrol at night in the company of a sheep that “looked like a dog.”
Dateline: Canada—An inebriated Canadian man was arrested in Woodstock, Ontario, after he tried to use as car was as a shower. The 39-year-old drunk was in a cab when he told the driver to pull over at the car wash. He got out of the cab, stripped off his clothes and proceeded to bath under the car wash's sprayers and brushes—much to the surprise of several witnesses. The man was eventually dried off, reclothed and charged with being drunk in a public place.
Dateline: Hong Kong—China gave Hong Kong the finger—and, for the most part, residents didn't seem to mind. Almost one million people turned out to see the Buddha's finger while it was on display in Hong Kong. The 2,500-year-old finger bone was sent from mainland China and show publicly for 10 days to help celebrate the Buddha's birthday. Some, however, viewed the viewing as a stunt to calm public outrage over China's decision not to grant full democracy to the island nation. The holy digit has now been flown back to the Famen Temple in the city of Xian.
Dateline: Germany—Meanwhile, back in Germany, officials in the town of Kotzen have voted against changing their town's unfortunate namesake. “Kotzen” is the German word for “puke.” According to the Maerkische Oderzeitung, the town was created last year when the villages of Kotzen, Kriele and Landin merged. Residents were given until the end of June to pick a different name, but were unable to come up with an agreeable alternative. It was left to town officials to make the final decision. In the end, they voted 5-3 to keep the name.
Dateline: Florida—Local beekeepers removed an estimated 700,000 bees from the home of suburban Lake Worth resident Norm Gitzen's house last week. “I'm a little nervous,” Gitzen told the Plam Beach Post. “That's a lot of bees.” For more than a year, Gitzen was happy to share his space with the insects, which had taken up residence near his roof. When they started invading his house and stinging both himself and his nephew, however, the homeowner figured it was time for them to go. The bees will be split among the beekeepers who removed them along with 65 pounds worth of honey.
Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. E-mail your weird news to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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