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 V.13 No.38 | September 16 - 22, 2004 

Thin Line

The velvet touch. Hey guys, next time your sweetheart goes in for a PAP smear, thank a trial lawyer for keeping the lust demons at bay. At least, that's how you might interpret President George W. Bush's latest verbal blunder (or was he serious?).

"Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country," Bush told a crowd in Poplar Bluffs, Mo., because "too many good docs are getting out of business" due to those—here's where the neural stimuli reconnected—"frivolous lawsuits."

According to an Associated Press dispatch released less than an hour after the speech, Bush was "unfazed" by yet another example of the philosopher-king parody that can arise at his public appearances unannounced, seemingly at any moment. On the issue of gynecologists being unable to practice "their love with women," Bush concluded: "I made my choice. I'm for medical liability reform now."

The hills are alive with the sound of ... Soviet tanks? There is a scene in the film Raw Iron—released by Cinemax last year offering outtakes from the original 1975 documentary Pumping Iron featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger—where a journalist and actress Candice Bergen ruminate on the future.

"Bergen is insisting that bodybuilding, and Arnold, has peaked," according to a New Yorker review. "'I disagree,' (the reporter) replies. ’It's here to stay, and Arnold is going to be the governor of California one day.' Bergen, hooting with laughter, retorts, ’And one day Ronald Reagan will be president.'"

Fast forward to 2004, Republicans want to put Reagan's face on Mount Rushmore and Arnold, now a 56-year-old fading action hero with orange hair and a face pumped full of Botox stole the show at the Republican convention. Except, his speech was a historian's nightmare.

According to British news source Ananova.com, Arnold's claim that Austria became a socialist country after World War II and that he remembered seeing Soviet tanks in the streets amounted to a "schoolboy howler."

It turns out, Arnold's hometown of Styria was actually controlled by the British in 1947, the year he was born. And the country has never had a socialist head of state.

Martin Polaschek, a scholar and legal historian, told the news agency Arnold was "trying to use the old communist threat for Bush's election campaign. ... (But) he is getting a free country mixed up with a socialist one."

Bush twins pull a stiffy. Knowing they'd be hounded by bottom-feeding gossip columnists wherever they went, the Bush daughters still hit the town for some heroic boozing after they bombed on stage at the Republican National Convention. “Thin Line” says, good for them.

According to news reports, Barbara and Jenna and their posse of 25 like-minded white trash revelers ran up a $4,500 tab at Manhattan's Avalon nightclub, pumping their fists to Kid Rock and swilling vodka and Miller Genuine Draft. According to People online, Jenna smoked cigarettes in violation of the city's smoking ban, and when the fun ended, employees told the New York Post, the liquored-up entourage only left a $48 tip. And the bar tab was comped!

The next day, Jenna got booted out of the VIP suite at the Chelsea nightclub, because it was 5:30 a.m. and the employees wanted to go home. This time, however, employees said Jenna's group of 50 friends tipped generously.

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