Alibi V.18 No.49 • Dec 3-9, 2009 
The men’s sleeping area at the old Westside jail, used as a homeless shelter during the winter months.

Newscity

Sleeping in the Old Jail

Is Albuquerque’s winter haven for the homeless up to code?

The western slope of the Petroglyphs falls dark early, except for an aisle of towering floodlights in front of a lone building. Men in winter coats file out of an old school bus carrying bedrolls. Then they wait. Before the men may go inside, the women who have ridden in the back of the bus must first clear through to their separate wing. Here, in the old Westside jail, the Albuquerque Rescue Mission has been sheltering people from the cold for about five winters.

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Thin Line

This week’s theme is: Stuff You Should Know. Don’t let Lady Justice keep her secrets.

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Miss Diagnosis

H1N1 and Other Diseases of Civilization

One of the greatest tragedies of my life is that the crabby robot dude in The Matrix compared human beings to viruses before I was able to publish my doctoral dissertation, tentatively titled Infectious Intelligence: The World’s First Bipedal Disease. Sadly, The Matrix totally stole my thunder, because my dissertation explained how human beings have overrun the planet in the same way that a virulent infectious organism overruns its host. I demonstrated how we’ve colonized the Earth via senseless reproduction (Don’t believe me? Go stand in line at the mall next Black Friday.), and excreted our toxins into the environment while squandering resources and jeopardizing the health of our host planet. And just as infection by a microorganism would cause you to spike a fever, human activity has resulted in global warming.

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Odds and Ends

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Germany—The long-standing editorial feud between two newspapers came to a head (so to speak) recently when German newspaper Die Tageszeitung unveiled a three-dimensional mural on its building facade depicting the editor-in-chief of rival right-wing paper Bild naked and sporting a 50-foot phallus. The unflattering portrait was erected (so to speak) in November by artist Peter Lenk. The plastic bas-relief features Bild boss Kai Diekmann spreading his legs and showing off a penis that stretches across five stories of Die Tageszeitung’s headquarters. The artwork also includes sensationalist, reproductive organ-based headlines from Bild’s history, such as “Federal Court of Justice: Now Everyone Can Say Pecker.” The unsubtle work of art is the latest round in the brutal editorial brawl between leftist-leaning Die Tageszeitung and Diekmann’s conservative paper. The row started some seven years ago after editors at the liberal paper ran a satirical article claiming their colleague at Bild had undergone a failed penis extension operation. Although the spoof was meant to highlight how Germany’s best-selling daily thrives by reporting on the misfortunes of others, Diekmann was understandably not amused. He sued and Die Tageszeitung was forced to expunge the piece from its archive. Since then, the two sides have expended considerable effort to outdo one another. Diekmann scored a major coup earlier this year by landing a seat on the cooperative that funds Die Tageszeitung’s endowment. “The penis row from 2002 is slowly becoming the stuff of legend,” Diekmann told Berlin daily Der Tagesspiegel two week ago. Diekmann said he does not plan to take legal action over the gigantic penis portrait. “Apparently the artist got a free yearly subscription for it,” Diekmann was quoted in Der Tagesspiegel as saying. “As a member of the cooperative, I’m naturally not happy about wasting a subscription. But I’ll certainly ask about the financing at the next co-op meeting.”

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Letters

What shocked me most reading Christie Chisholm’s report on health care in rural Kenya [Re: News, “Aid From Afar,” Nov. 26-Dec. 2] is the absence of doctors in even overnight facilities that sick patients walk many miles to get to.

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Image via Pixabay

EVENT HORIZON ()

Folk Yeah!

4th Annual South American Folk Fair

A wonderful day that mixes traditional food, folkloric dances, arts and crafts and finishes with a Salsa music concert and dance.
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Courtesy of Rio Grande Valley Celtic Festival

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We Like Highland Games

Rio Grande Valley Celtic Festival

Goes without saying. Anywho, the biggest, baddest and most eloquently mountainous of countries within that sceptered isle known collectively as the United Kingdom has a festival here in Burque. It is so much fun: people put on kilts, listen to bagpipes, eat haggis, dance jigs and all that Scotch stuff. The Rio Grande Valley Celtic Festival happens yearly…
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Courtesy of Watermelon Ranch

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How Much is That Pupper in the Window?

National Adoption Weekend

Everyone knows by now that the best way to get a new furry best friend is to adopt one from a local shelter or rescue. If you've been waiting for the perfect moment to adopt, this weekend is National Adoption Weekend. Four times a year, PetSmart Charities hosts these adoption events. Almost 30,000 pets nationally found forever homes during the past event in February. Your friendly neighborhood rescue Watermelon Mountain Ranch has many pets available for adoption…
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Albuquerque Wine Festival

Enjoy the award-winning musicians, dine on delicious local cuisine, enjoy free painting classes and shop from over 50 local artisans.
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Sex Ed Game Show and Carnival

A game show with consented audience participation on everyone's favorite subject as well as prizes, a spanking booth, and more.
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Vermicomposting: Worm Farms for Fun and Profit

Jeremy Bridge addresses everything needed to know about compost worms, from how to select and establish a bin, to harvesting compost and troubleshooting common problems.
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8th Annual ABQ Blues and Brews

The kickoff celebration for ABQ Beer Week boasts over 80 breweries, unlimited sampling and five fantastic blues bands.
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