Maloney’s

Horrible experience I had at this place yesterday. First off, like always, the food took forever for a place that sees a VERY small lunch crowd as opposed to some other downtown establishments around that time. No big deal, though.

The runner (not our waitress) comes out with the entire tray of food (three entrees and three salads), attempts to balance it on the one vacant chair, and the whole fucking thing topples over, covering both of my pant legs, socks and shoes in a copious amount of ketchup. I wipe what I thought was most of it off. ONCE AGAIN, no big deal, I thought, since we now have to wait ANOTHER fucking hour for them to re-make the food and considering the ketchup mishap, they're bound to take SOMETHING off the order since we've now been here an entire hour and counting, right??? Wrong.

After saying "we'll get this taken care of," the waitress drops off the check. Meanwhile, my friend at lunch with me brings to my attention that there's more ketchup I missed, covering the entire side of my black-and-white shoe. I'm wiping this shit off while the waitress nonchalantly drops off the check.

I was fucking ASTOUNDED! Not one thing taken off, for the inconvenience of the now longer wait, and the attempt to clean my clothes and head back to work. The fuck??? We tell the waitress our qualms and said she'd speak to a manager.

So she comes back, no manager in tow. She says that it's "too late" to do anything about this particular meal, but come back "tomorrow or something" and "Mark" will give us "a free dessert or something" and I quote. We say, okay, is there something we can have in writing? "Oh, we don't have VOUCHERS here. Mark knows who you are, he's here almost every day."

Meanwhile, I have no idea who Mark is as he has yet to make an appearance. So that's it. The waitress gets no tip, we pay for the meal and split. Customer service anyone? Really? And I usually sympathize with these types of gigs as I worked in the service industry for many a year...and however much I hated it/hated myself...I knew where to kiss ass when it was due, and this was just simply one of those times. Not only did they not come through on that end, the apology towards dumping the entire fucking lunch on me and having us wait EVEN LONGER for ridiculously mediocre and sub-par food was nonexistent.

Don't eat at Maloney's. Don't drink at Maloney's. They are not deserving of your business.

we went because we were desperate for a patio. Wrong food brought out, re-brought out uncooked, rude service, etc. Big mean heads.

I thought this was just a joint to hit up when you've had too much to drink and feel like getting turned down by cholas?

If you want an awesome patio downtown with good food, go to Blackbird... and unlike Maloney's, you won't have to stare at all the homeless people pick through trash cans and yell at women.

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