Top-placing burger makers to be celebrated June 20 to 27
Inquiring minds want to know: What’s your favorite burger in Burque? Weekly Alibi is hosting our first ever Burque Burger Week, which will showcase the city’s favorite burgermeisters as nominated by you, our lovely readers. The winning restaurants will each craft a special burger that they’ll only serve from June 20 to June 27. Nominations are open now, from May 23 to June 6. Flame on!
UNM leads a psychedelic renaissance
Ultra Health devotes to budding potential
The winners of the Alibi's Third Annual Valentine's Day Card Contest
When I was a wee lad in elementary school, teachers used to force us to celebrate Valentine's Day by taping obnoxious handmade construction paper pouches to the backs of our itty-bitty kiddy seats. Come V-Day, kids would pop cheapo 3 x 5 inch cards into everyone else's pouch. This yearly ritual wasn't so much an expression of love as it was an annoying obligation enforced at gunpoint.
The Jenny Gamble & Friends Acoustic Showcase—Who is Jenny Gamble, and why is she so freaking excited about local music? You've heard of her before. As a singer-songwriter, promoter and unflappable foot soldier for the New Mexico State Music Commission, Jenny's name gets around in the New Mexico music community. In fact, I can sum up some of the best advice I can give to burgeoning musicians in three words: "Talk to Jenny." And bring a demo. She'll guide you in the right direction.
Rap-rock minus that nasty Limp Bizkit aftertaste
"I'd rather be an angsty teenager than a depressed old guy sitting at the bar," muses Brandon Atencio, one of the two lead singers of Albuquerque rap-rock five-piece The Isness. Atencio's self-reflection goes a long way in describing what his band is all about.
with Fenix TX, Versus the World and Fair Shot
Tuesday, Feb. 14, Launchpad (all-ages welcome); $15: "It's No Use for a Fuckin' Name!" And with that fateful introduction given by a drunken stagehand, No Use for a Name launched into what would become, arguably, their best album ever created over their decade-and-a-half career as staples of the punk rock scene. No Use's Live in a Dive (released on Fat Wreck Chords) is one of the best live albums any punk band has assembled; not only for the musical proficiency it showcased, but for the growth it showed from the band's first Fat Wreck release, Leche Con Carne. No longer relying on catchy but overly simplified riffs, the band created a concrete wall of distortion with drum fills forceful enough to shatter pelvises and vocals that wrenched at the heartstrings.
with The Wailers and Sub Agencia (Moonlight Lounge)
Wednesday, Feb. 15, Sunshine Theater (smoking and alcohol service in segregated areas only); $20: Remember Snow? If you've heard of the ragga artist at all, it's only thanks to his unintelligible 1993 one-hit wonder, "Informer." (You know, "In-for-mer! You know ... de-blooby-da-boo-be-I-go-bam ... A nicky boom boom, yeah!") Love it or loathe it, the song is difficult to ignore. Something about a wimpy blonde dude with a Jamaican accent will do that.
What's that buzz? It's the Beat Hive featuring Zach Freeman and Sina Soul. Hip-hop, poetry, beat-boxing, jazz, improv and live jams, with special guests Danny Solis and DJ Mateo. Friday, Feb. 10, at 8 p.m. Blow that roof off the Shadow Lounge at Out Ch' Yonda (929 Fourth Street SW, in Barelas). (LM)
Seven Days of Karaoke
What started in Japan in the '80s has, over the years, come to practically infest our fair city with poor renditions of yesterday's hits. And why not? Everyone loves to watch other people make fools of themselves. See, I've found that for maximum entertainment, the trick with karaoke is not to sing as well as you possibly can, but with as much tuneless and tone-deaf harmony as you can muster, being sure to botch the lyrics with swear words and humorous twists. Of course, there are those who take it seriously, but that's probably not you.
Anna in the Tropics—Teatro Nuevo México will stage a new production of Nilo Cruz' Pulitzer Prize-winning play Anna in the Tropics at the National Hispanic Cultural Center this Thursday, Feb. 9, through Sunday, Feb. 12. The play is set in 1929 in a Cuban-American cigar factory in Florida, where readers are hired to entertain workers while they roll the cigars by hand. When a reader begins reading Anna Karenina out loud a volatile conflict flames up among the laborers. Michael D. Blum directs this production. Thursday through Saturday at 8 p.m., Sunday at 2 p.m. $15, $20, $25. ($5 discount for students.) 883-7800.
An interview with Caroline Moorehead
Caroline Moorehead, the British author and activist, has spent the last two decades writing about refugees and prisoners, but four years ago she decided she'd had enough of sitting on the sidelines.
UNM courts the Tricklock Company
The Tricklock Company looks more and more like a giant fish stuffed into a tiny bowl. I'm not talking about the troupe's use of our little Burque as a home base when they're not trotting across the globe performing original plays and searching for new acts for their yearly Revolutions International Theatre Festival. I'm talking about that strip-mall theater Tricklock has used for years near Washington and Central—a cool little space, sure, but when I say "little" what I really mean is pint-size. The Alibi's bathroom is almost as big as the performance area.
A letter printed in the Alibi leads to the investigation of a local VA nurse for "sedition"
George W. Bush's America just keeps getting curiouser and curiouser, doesn't it? Consider the case of Laura Berg—a local Veterans Affairs (VA) nurse currently represented by American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) attorneys George Bach and Larry Kronen in a peculiar matter that seems to involve official retribution against Berg for her criticisms of the Bush administration.
Will the Paseo and Montaño road projects do what they promise?
The extension of Paseo del Norte and the proposed four-lane restriping of Montaño are two of the most controversial road projects in the city. Even though both of these projects still face legal challenges, they have also recently gained significant victories for their proponents, with Paseo winning in U.S. District Court and Montaño winning a vote of approval by the MRCOG Transportation Board.
An urgent call from a friend on my voice mail set off alarm bells. “Jerry! I just went past your house and there are cops and SWAT team cars all over the place! Give me a call; hope you and your family are all right.”
It's time we support our friendly local arts organizations
I've decided to start a new organization: End Artist Starvation (EAS). I know it's not a very catchy title for an organization, but it gets to the point. Too many of our arts organizations and the singers, painters, actors, playwrights and directors they support are struggling. Keeping underfunded arts companies functioning has become an artform in itself. It's crazy that those who provide so much creativity to our civic life are living on the economic edge.
Dateline: England—A man in Wakefield, West Yorkshire, lost his appetite when he checked the label of a packet of ham he had purchased at the local supermarket and found “dog shit” listed among the ingredients. Mick Woods, 34, examined another of the 12 oz. containers of cooked, sliced ham and saw the same “additive” listed. “Obviously, I haven't eaten it,” he told reporters. “It sort of puts you off.” Meat packer HR Hargreaves & Son is recalling the products. A spokesperson for the Manchester-based firm said, “We can't have people fooling about with food products. A number of packs are affected. We're trying to find out what shops they're in.” According to detectives, a 21-year-old employee of the meat manufacturer has been arrested on suspicion of tampering with the labels. “We spent 40 minutes laughing,” added Woods. “But we haven't put any in the kids' sandwiches.”
Make My Movie!—After years of catering exclusively to big-budget Hollywood filmmakers, the State Film Office looks like it's finally starting to get the idea that New Mexico might have a few of its own budding auteurs. Recently, Gov. Bill Richardson announced a statewide short screenplay competiton. If you're an aspiring filmmaker/screenwriter and you've got something in mind--or if you've already got something buried on the hard drive of your computer--get it entered. Four winning screenplays will be chosen to be produced in New Mexico in 2006. Winners will have access to production gear, crew, costumes and props, plus a production budget provided by sponsors Comcast and National Geographic All Roads Film Project. All films must be 10 minutes or less. Deadline for entries is April 7. This is a fantastic opportunity, people, so get on it! Log on to www.nmfilm.com for a complete entry form.
Gentle documentary explores India's obsession with death and rivers
We here in America have become increasingly isolated from the specter of death; we know it happens, but we're not quite sure how. Other countries, less insulated from nature by technology, architecture and economy, have a more intimate relationship with death. Take, for example, India.
Cheeky monkey gets hip, but-
- thankfully- - not too hip
The very first Curious George book by the husband-and-wife team of H.A. and Margret Rey was published way back in 1941. Since then, the delightful picture book and its six sequels have been requisite titles on the bookshelves of generations of children across the world. The question then is, “If a work of art is so universally beloved in its original form, why bother turning it into a movie?” Aside from rampant greed and a total lack of original ideas, there really isn't a concrete reason. But that hasn't stopped Universal Pictures and producer Ron Howard (who's already destroyed such kiddy classics as How the Grinch Stole Christmas and The Cat in the Hat) from cranking out an expensive, animated adaptation.
Two networks are gone, but one stands in their place
Fans of The WB and UPN networks (don't laugh, there are a few of them out there) got good news and bad news recently. It was announced in late January, exactly 11 years after The WB and UPN launched, that both networks would be going out of business. This announcement came as a shock not only to viewers, but to just about all the producers at WB and UPN, who hadn't heard a word about this little development. There was, however, some good news in the announcement. Warner Brothers and CBS Corp. would be combining their efforts to create a brand new “fifth network”--and it is this freshly christened CW network (“C” for CBS, “W” for Warners) that will be picking up many of the more successful WB and UPN offerings.
The Super Bowl is the Super Bowl of advertising
In Super Bowl XL, held last weekend in Detroit, somebody won and somebody lost. ... Moving on. The big battle wasn't between sports teams, but between advertisers. Seriously. Companies forked out $2.5 million per 30-second spot, and many viewers were watching the ads as attentively as they watched the game.
The Week in Sloth
Gordon Schutte Uncorks the Wine Bar at Vivace—By the time you read this, Vivace's new wine bar will be open at 3120 Central SE, in the adjoining Nob Hill storefront that used to be Bright Future Futon. "It's really striking," says restaurateur and Vivace Chef Gordon Schutte when describing the addition's black and burgundy wine bar. "There's a lot of glass behind the counter, too," a complement to the natural bravado of great Italian wine. Deep terra cotta-colored walls, a private dining area and expanded seating are among the new amenities.
There's nothing wimpy about it
Life in the Southwest wasn't easy 75 years ago. We had massive unemployment, the average income was just $1,368 a year and prohibition was killing the party vibe. Still, if there was a silver lining on our Depression-era cloud, you could find it in Barelas—in the form of a hot, juicy "Wimpy" burger at the Red Ball Café. They only cost a nickel, after all.
And everything nice
Your Valentine's Day guide to a night—nay, a lifetime—of merriment
Sex. What? Don't look at me like that—you know you're thinking it, too. Valentine's Day is around the corner, and the last thing you want or need is tips on where to get chocolate and flowers. You know that part. Not to say that you don't know anything about sex, but it is a far more interesting affair after all, isn't it? We think so, too. So our gift to you this lovelorn holiday season (or lustlorn, as the case may be), won't be on the best spots to propose or the best deals on spas—you can invariably get that advice from a million other places—rather, we're going to deal with the down and dirty. Mainly, we're talking sex toys, along with a few other accoutrements. If you're shocked, disturbed, curious or comfortable, stick around. You just might learn a thing or two.
There are a couple stores in town that fit our stringent criteria for happy sex toy shopping, which is that it feel safe, be tasteful and be comfortable enough for a woman to visit by herself. The winners tied for gold are Martha's Body Bueno and Seventh Goddess, who both offer such an amazing service to the community that we should bow down right now and thank them, or at least go patronize their businesses. These stores have slightly different markets and offer different items, but have something in common: They offer excellent service and outstanding products.
Not in a couple this Valentine's Day? Don't look so glum. The holiday is about appreciating the ones you love—and that includes yourself. Be your own sweetheart. Give yourself some lovin'. Buy yourself a toy. Better yet, check out this book for some real advice on flying solo. And don't forget the chocolate.
With all this talk about sex, it would be downright irresponsible of us to not give you a little lecture ... er, reminder ... on keeping yourself safe. Don't forget that STDs are spreading faster than reality TV—be careful out there. For goodness sake, use a condom if you're not in a long-term monogamous relationship and either on birth control or ready to have kids. That includes sex toys. Don't share without properly sterilizing them between uses or slapping a condom on them. Talk to your partner about his/her history. Sure, there's some initial embarrassment, but it's a lot less embarrassing than finding out you've contracted something.
For more information on safe sex, check out the number of websites listed in this section, buy one of the books reviewed here, talk to your doctor or call Planned Parenthood (check the phone book for a bunch of numbers and locations).
With all this talk about sex toys, it's important to get a few things straight. Buying a sex toy for someone else isn't always appropriate; in fact, sometimes it's just bad form. So how do you know when the time's right? There are a few easy rules:
Sure. Valentine's Day has been turned into a consumer holiday. It's less about love and appreciation and more about buying. Granted. But so what? It's not about you; it's about your relationship. To paraphrase what a girlfriend of mine recently told me, “some girls just want a six-pack of beer, a bar of chocolate and an ’I love you.'” It's not about gifts or obligations, it's about remembering. Even if you don't have a penny to your name, you can still say “Happy V-day.” Besides, small things like that give you a better chance at getting laid (not that that should be your goal).
Not everyone likes to go toy shopping in person. You're embarrassed, you're lazy or you just can't find exactly what you're looking for. If virtual shopping is more your bag, check out these super-tasteful, independently run websites. They're sure to have what you're looking for, usually send purchases in an unmarked or disguised box, and have a slew of information on sex, health, toys, lubes and any other kinky thing your mind can conjure.
Trying to find a quality book on sex is like trying to find a quality movie in Hollywood—every now and then you strike gold, but most of the time you're just struck with disappointments. There are a few gems out there, and a lot of over-the-top fluff. Here are a couple of our recommendations for awesome sex books that come to the subject from completely different angles (again, no pun intended). These are by no means the only good books out there, but they're our favorites, and together they should tell you just about everything you ever needed to know about sex, safety and respect.
Dating can be difficult and confusing to some of you men. Let my many years of success with the fairer sex be your guidance, and you'll be wrapped in the warm embrace of your future life-partner before St. Valentine's Day.
If a bill moving through the current 30-day Legislative Session passes, the state's sick and dying may be legally smoking up by this summer
"I've got AIDS. I'm nauseous 24/7; my life is degrees of nausea. I'm fighting wasting,” said Essie Debonet, a 61-year-old, 95-pound patient activist, adding that marijuana is one of the only things that helps to quell her chronic nausea due to AIDS medications. “It almost pushes me to eat.”
Years ago, on the first day of April, my predecessor, Michael Henningsen, sent around an e-mail informing us that the Alibi had just purchased Crosswinds. Being the most gullible person east of the International Date Line, I swallowed the whole story without even chewing. Like a complete idiot, I ran around the office quizzing people about the purchase. I distinctly recall Chris Johnson, one of the Alibi's owners, laughing in my face.
Set aside for the moment your feelings about the wars—both the one against Terror and the one in Iraq.
Suppose medical researchers invented a vaccine to prevent lung cancer. Then suppose the American Lung Association lobbied to ban the vaccine because preventing lung cancer deaths might weaken their anti-smoking campaign. Nuts, right?
Dateline: Thailand—Thailand's creepiest couple is planning to tie the knot on Valentine's Day. The Scorpion Queen and the Centipede King plan to get married on Feb. 14 at the Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum's Haunted House Adventure in the southern resort town of Pattaya. Kanchana Ketkaew, 36, set a world record in 2002 for spending 32 days in a glass cage with 3,400 scorpions. Bunthawee Siengwong, 29, set a Thai record for enduring 28 days with 1,000 centipedes. The two met while performing their respective stunts at a snake farm on the resort island of Koh Samui. According to Somporn Naksuetrong, general manager of Thailand's Ripley's Museum, the couple will wear bloodstained wedding clothes and will partake in a traditional Thai ceremony. But, instead of heading to a traditional “wedding room” after the ceremony, the pair plans to climb into a coffin to consummate their union.
Go and Stop In at the Green Light Bistro—Taking yet another savory step towards vegetarian world domination, Annapurna just opened an organic, all-vegetarian restaurant, called the Green Light Bistro (2209 Silver SE, 254-0100). It's easy to forget that just a few months ago, this tiny casita in the newly designated "Brick Light District" was a dark and fragrant bakery storeroom, packed clear to the ceiling with exotic spices. Now, it's a cozy café that's as cheery and bright as a cup of their Silver Street organic coffee.
You don't need to be a great lover to knock the socks off your Valentine—just be punctual. Valentine's Day is less than two weeks away and restaurants are filling up fast, so start calling around right now for a reservation. (That is, unless you want to get caught with your pants down. ...)
Marinara-nate your plate
When little kids sit down for a history lesson, it is imperative that they be told about the days long ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth and Italian food was all that Homo sapiens had to eat. They could slay a giant Lasagnasaurus for supper, or gather meatballs from the ample bushes near the rivers that flowed with Alfredo sauce. Or perhaps even take down a huge Spaghettisaurus Rex to feed the entire clan, or die trying.
War and Peace—The Albuquerque Center for Peace and Justice (202 Harvard SE) will present a pair of war-torn documentaries this week. On Thursday, Feb. 2, at 7 p.m., the People Before Profit Lecture Series will show Occupation Dreamland. This evenhanded documentary follows the soldiers of the 82nd Airborne deployed in the city of Fallujah during the winter of 2004. Invited speakers will be NM Iraq Veterans for Peace. The Panama Deception, which won the 1992 Academy Award for Best Documentary, will be screened Saturday, Feb. 4, at 7 p.m. courtesy of Boletin Latino. This film covers the 1989 invasion of Panama by 26,000 American troops and concentrates on the effects to that nation's poor and disenfranchised. Both films are free and open to the public. For more information, log on to www.peacecenter.home.comcast.net.
Period comedy/drama proves nudity can be tasteful ... and fun for the whole family
Like Waking Ned Devine, Calendar Girls, The Full Monty and countless other U.K. comedies, Mrs. Henderson Presents is infected with the sort of whimsy that in the Brits never seems fatal.
Inspirational biopic is flat out entertaining
If I had a farm--which I don't--I'd bet it that you're going to like The World's Fastest Indian. This misty-eyed, stand-up-and-cheer biopic was quietly and economically assembled in New Zealand by writer/director Roger Donaldson, who made some interesting films Down Under (Smash Palace, The Bounty) before emigrating to America to churn out glossy but generic material (Cocktail, Species, Dante's Peak). Having served for years as a skilled studio hack, Donaldson must have been itching to get his hands on a quality indie product, because he has found it in this unassuming but hard-to-resist labor of love.
Super Sunday around the dial
The Seattle Seahawks will face off against the Pittsburgh Steelers this weekend in Super Bowl XL. (“Super Bowl Extra Large” for you hipsters in the audience. “Super Bowl 40” for you non-sporting non-Romans in the audience.) The game will take place at Ford Field in Detroit, Mich. Pittsburgh is favored to win by four points. (Which, in the sporting scheme of things, is a pretty tight football game.)
The Week in Sloth
The SXSW Rock 'n' Report—In what very well may be the coolest thing we've done since the inception of Fall Crawl, the Alibi will give away airfare and a South by Southwest Music and Media Conference press pass to one aspiring music journalist. Based out of Austin, Texas, SXSW is one of the biggest independent music festivals in the world. It's where the most promising up-and-coming acts establish themselves on the international stage, and where music legends return for a rare, and sometimes final, encore. You can find out more about this year's festival, which is set for the third week of March, at www.sxsw.com. Read the “Music Magnified” by Amy Dalness in this week's edition for a complete description of the contest rules. If you love music and can write reasonably well, do not pass this up.
Immediate. Illusive. Inspiration.
I is for Ida--the top-secret hush-hush side project of (shhhh!) Unit 7 Drain--takes the stage for the first time tonight in a two-for-one that promises to impress all around. That's something not often said about any single debut show or debut CD release. Unlike the suffocating mass of side projects infecting indie rock these days, little here will remind you of their incipient U7D nativity.
Because we can't get enough of their precocious gloom. Friday, Feb. 3, at the Launchpad. Free CD with paid $5 admission! (LM)
featuring The Hollis Wake, Feels Like Sunday, Sincerely and Face Across the Floor
Burt's Tiki Lounge on Friday, Feb. 3 (21-and-over); Free: It's shows like this that make me long for my 21st birthday, which is one month, one week and three days from the moment this Alibi officially hits the streets. (But who's counting?) This one finds Santa Fe songsmiths The Hollis Wake trading in their tube amps for some good, clean, unplugged fun in the form of Friday night's acoustic showcase at Burt's Tiki Lounge. The acousticity of the show should make the band's irresistible harmonies take an even larger chunk of the center stage while scaling back some of the external fuzzy-drone that finds its way into many of THW's tracks.
Your free ticket to SXSW, fame and beyond
How many times have you heard the phrase, "This is the opportunity of a lifetime"? Enough to stop paying attention to the claim, I'm sure. Well, this is such an opportunity--if you happen to be an avid music fan with a dream to turn your hobby into a full-time job. The Alibi is looking to send one lucky, talented and enthusiastic future music reporter to the SXSW Music and Media Conference (www.sxsw.com) in Austin, Texas, March 15 through 19. This five-day music festival will host performances by over 1,000 international bands in every genre imaginable, as well as discussions and forums with some key players in the music industry.
A romantic interview with Nashville Pussy
For a decade, Nashville Pussy, with their short, catchy songs, heavy and plentiful guitars and clever lyrics, has been rocking trailers in tri-state areas all over the country. I spoke with 50 percent of the band last week (husband-and-wife team, guitarist and vocalist Blaine Cartwright and lead guitarist Ruyter Suys). The sexier of the two (Ruyter) answered these questions.
Say Cheese—During the first few decades following the invention of photography, photographers scoured the world in an attempt to document our planet's varied human inhabitants. Examples of these early images will be on display starting this week at the UNM Art Museum in an exhibit titled First Seen: Portraits of the World's Peoples (1848-1880). The show opens Tuesday, Feb. 7, and runs through May 14. A reception will be held on Friday, Feb. 10, from 5 to 7 p.m. 277-7312.
New German Photography at the Richard Levy Gallery
World War II ended more than 60 years ago, long before most of us were even born, yet the big mama of global industrialized conflicts still colors our ideas about Germans. An exhibit of recent German photography is currently running at the Richard Levy Gallery Downtown. Appropriately titled New German Photography, you would expect this show to have at least some bearing on the national personality, both actual and perceived, of the German people. It doesn't disappoint.
Harwood Art Center
Our friends over at the Italian American Home Theater are once again stepping outside the living room for a performance at the Harwood Art Center (1114 Seventh Street NW) starting this weekend. The Scale Wallah, written and performed by Frank Melcori, is a piece involving a mysterious scale and a man who appears to be homeless. Find out more at the show running Fridays at 7:30 p.m. through Feb. 17. The performance features DJ Outlaw, and a portion of proceeds will benefit Albuquerque Rescue Mission. $10. 242-6367.
Vicki Bolens specializes in prints and collages. Renee B. Gentz creates elaborate quilted wall pieces. Susan Kennedy makes highly original jewelry out of semiprecious stones and sterling. The work of all three ladies will be on display at the Mariposa Gallery (3500 Central SE) at an exhibit opening with a reception this Friday, Feb. 3, from 5 to 8 p.m. The show runs through Feb. 28. While you're there, check out some paintings and pastel pieces by Margi Weir upstairs. 268-6828.
Authors' Month in Albuquerque
By this point in our city's year-long birthday bashola, you probably realize that every month has a different cultural theme. We've been through Food Month and Theater Month and Dance Month, and I think there was even a Plumbing Month thrown somewhere in the mix. (Did you catch that one?) During February, we're celebrating local authors.
On three Saturdays throughout the month of February, various hotshot local authors will teach a series of writing workshops on a range of subjects for the low, low price of $35 per session. To make reservations, contact Lucinda Lucero Sachs by calling 768-3557 or e-mailing firstname.lastname@example.org.
My favorite aunt, my mother's sister, is driving north on Elysian Fields as I sit in the passenger's seat staring through the window in disbelief at the doomed neighborhood of Gentilly, in eastern New Orleans. House after house is damaged and unoccupied, thick yellowish water lines visible four to five feet high.
UNM's new architecture building raises spirits as well as a few eyebrows
Over the past three decades, the University of New Mexico's architecture students have had to travel off campus to visit their school's architecture buildings. All three offer constant reminders, such as their sub-par compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act, that they are unfit to house the only architecture school in the state.
At the Jan. 18 meeting, councilors wrestled with buildings going up and buildings coming down. Councilor Michael Cadigan's memorial supporting the Feb. 7 Albuquerque Public Schools Board bond election passed unanimously, so remember to vote, OK?
It was almost irresistible as a target for smart-aleck punditry. “The New Mexico Regional Spaceport” just sounds like some sort of setup for a comic strip punchline. Toss in the virtually empty location selected for it near “Upham,” a railroad junction southeast of “Truth or Consequences” and not far from “Hatch,” and you practically have a SNL skit writing itself, laugh track included.
Although perhaps there should be
With Super Bowl XL upon us--or “Super Bowl Extra-Large” as it's hilariously referred to by many a half-witted color commentator--it's time for us to take a serious look at the direction that professional sports are taking.
Dateline: England—A British dentist has been banned from working in the tooth-cleaning profession after allowing her unqualified boyfriend to carry out dental work on more than 600 patients. Mojgan Azari was found guilty of serious professional misconduct for letting her boyfriend Omid Amidi-Mazaheri work at her dental surgery clinic in South London between 2002 and 2003. According to the BBC, Amidi-Mazaheri drilled out cavities without local anesthetic and installed expensive fillings that crumbled within days, leaving patients in agony. The General Dental Council said that Azari had allowed him to carry on working in her surgeries for seven months after she had been warned that he was unregistered. “This caused the patients considerable distress and inconvenience and cost the National Health Service approximately 180,000 pounds [$424,000],” the GDC said in its ruling. Last year, Azari pled guilty to four counts of obtaining money by deception in relation to the case and was jailed for 12 months. The BBC said Amidi-Mazaheri, an Iranian national, received a two-year sentence for similar offenses. The GDC's conduct committee ruled last week to strike Azari's name from the register.
Wrong Side of the Tracks Jam--From punk to funk, the El Madrid (421 First Street SW), home to a few punk shows over a decade ago, is being revived by Midget Mogul Productions. Felonious Groove Foundation, Mystic Vision, Le Chat Lunatique and Wendy Colonna will bring in da funk on Thursday, Jan. 26, from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. $15 gets you in with a fun, plastic wristband. Call the Midget Mogul infoline at (505) 231-2408 to stay up to date.
Join comrades Kentifyr and Church for KGB, a vodka-scented shot of goth, industrial, post-punk, powernoise and beyond—plus your requests! Kicks off at 9 p.m. every Thursday night at OPM. Pass the borscht. (LM)
with The Mindy Set and Lomita
Monday, Jan. 30; Burt's Tiki Lounge (21-and-over), free: Austin's The Black Angels, who are pumped to visit Albuquerque, answered a bunch of questions I sent them via e-mail, but unfortunately, there's only room for these three:
with Danny Winn and The Earthlings, Fighting Chance, Made in Bangladesh and Half Stache
Launchpad on Thursday, Jan. 26, $8 (all-ages): Fight the urge to judge this band by their name; Liquid Cheese does not sound like "liquid cheese." There is no oozing squishiness when they're on stage. They are solid, precise, energizing and satisfying (if “liquid cheese” could be described as satisfying, then there may be a correlation, after all). They really should make it more apparent why they chose their band name—for now I'll write it off as some insanely funny inside joke and be content that they, at least, understand.
“You are the perfect candidate.”
These are the words one loves to hear when applying for a loan, buying a new car and asking what experience is needed to participate in one of New Mexico Jazz Workshop's adult education classes.
If you have have played a jazz instrument, strummed a guitar or belted your little heart out, then Maud Beenhouwer, education coordinator for the New Mexico Jazz Workshop, says you are the perfect candidate for the classes they are offering this spring semester. This is really good news if your saxophone has been sitting in the back of the closet, gathering dust, waiting for you to get back in the groove.
There's a lot of Akron/Family lore floating around out there about how the group wears Rip Van Winkle beards, is involved in a religious cult of their own concoction and holds some type of super-human musical capabilities/strength. The truth, disappointingly, is that the beards are scaled back, there is no cult and they are not super-human (at least, in the Dungeons and Dragons sense).
Indie Christ—On Friday, Jan. 17, at 7 p.m., the Christ Unity Church will screen filmmaker Kell Kearns' documentary The Consciousness of the Christ: Reclaiming Jesus for a New Humanity. The film “tells the life of Jesus from the perspective of the divine Humanity and human potential he came to initiate.” Mystic scholar Andrew Harvey, bestselling author Marianne Williamson and “Mother of Holistic Medicine” Gladys McGarey are among those interviewed in the film. Kearns himself will be on hand for a Q&A. Admission is $10 in advance or $12 at the door. Tickets are available at Christ Unity (9800 Candelaria NE) or at Treasure House Books (2012 South Plaza NW)
Offbeat buddy comedy has a lethal sense of humor
“A hitman and a salesman walk into a bar ...” That's the setup for the delightfully unexpected breakout film from writer/director Richard Shepard--who gave us the solid but little-seen 1999 thriller Oxygen.
Woody Allen trades NYC for London and scores big
For the last decade or two, Woody Allen has become like an increasingly superstitious sketch artist unwilling to give up his “lucky” pencil. Time and again, he traces out the same old portraits with the tiny remaining nub of his overused charcoal. Despite transitory flashes of brilliance (parts of Sweet and Lowdown, a few jokes from Mighty Aphrodite), Woody's post-'80s output has been far more miss than hit. In the aftermath of failed experiments like Everyone Says I Love You, Deconstructing Harry and Melinda and Melinda, it was a toss-up question whether or not Allen would ever get out of his New York City rut. But, at the ripe old age of 70, Allen seems to have broken his losing streak with his freshest film since 1989's Crimes and Misdemeanors.
Broadcast buzz from around the dial
Why Not?—I'll tell you why not: Because it sucks. ABC has given an unusually quick hook to Heather Graham's new sitcom “Emily's Reasons Why Not,” yanking the show off the air after only one episode. The show debuted Jan. 9 (along with John Stamos' “Jake in Progress”) to a bad-but-not-abysmal 6.2 million viewers. But, with the threat of FOX's “24” looming, NBC decided to cut its losses (as well as John Stamos' “Jake in Progress”). “Creatively, the show did not get to where it needed to,” ABC programming chief Steve McPherson told reporters at the Television Critics Association press tour, in a surprising bit of candor. “All of us tried really hard--producers, network, studio--but it just never got on track.” In other words: It sucked; moving on ...
The Week in Sloth
Write Side Up—You'd better rent yourself a cabin in the woods and finish off that masterpiece you keep telling everyone about. It's time once again for SouthWest Writers' annual writing contest. This year, they're offering 19 different categories, including a new one for work written in Spanish. The competition is open to anyone and everyone. All you need is a pulse, along with a deep-rooted lust for literary glory.
Taiko—the traditional Japanese drum—was once used by priests to repel evil spirits and insects from rice fields. Samurai used it to scare their enemies and bolster their own courage. Ordinary farmers used to drum to pray for rain for their crops. For three decades, San Jose Taiko has taken this ancient drum and applied a contemporary beat to it. The Californian group will make a thunderous, intricately choreographed appearance at UNM's Popejoy Hall this Sunday, Jan. 29, at 3:30 p.m. Tickets are $33, $26 and $19. Reserve yours by calling (800) 905-3315.
Simms Center for the Performing Arts
This weekend, Chamber Music Albuquerque presents performances by four Brazilian masters of the guitar. The Brazilian Guitar Quartet perform classical pieces on several different versions of the instrument, including a special eight-string guitar, displaying both virtuosity and passion. The performances occur on Friday, Jan. 27, at 7:30 p.m. and Sunday, Jan. 29, at 3 p.m. The Simms Center is located on the campus of Albuquerque Academy (6400 Wyoming NE). For tickets, call 268-1990 or go to www.cma-abq.org.
Sol Arts' True Believers
Broadway's most profitable year in history was 2005. Here in Albuquerque, 2005 saw the first full year of Sol Arts' current, permanent location at 712 Central SE. The scrappy project has come a long way. In 2001, Sol Arts' first show took place in a parking lot on Second Street. There, amid the trapeze performers and women eating fire, Sol Arts introduced its particular brand of live theater to Albuquerque.
It's the Year of the Dog—The lunar New Year is on Sunday, Jan. 29, which marks the start of a new Chinese calendar year. Oh, yeah—dim sum city. Before you dive head-first into a pile a dan dan noodles, you can work up an appetite over at the Chinese Culture Center (427 Adams SE, 268-7023). They'll have their huge Chinese New Year celebration on Sunday from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. While you're there, stop by their astoundingly cheap Chinese-import gift shop for some "Dragon Pearl" green tea. More information about the center is available online at www.chineseculturecenter-abq.com.
A dude's gotta eat. And on Super Bowl Sunday, he's gotta eat like a feudal lord. Only there's no suckling pig in the cards for this Prince of the Gridiron. No, there's an unwritten code of the Super Bowl, to which all dudes must abide: Eat the stuff your mom never let you touch as a kid. Beer! Nitrate-laden meats! Marshmallow fluff, straight from the jar! Let it all hang out, bro. On today of all days, you truly are the man.
Southwestern heart and Southern soul food
What are some of the differences between the South and the Southwest? Well, for starters, we here in the Southwest have tortillas, while Southerners have biscuits. They say "git on," and we say "you 'member?" But every once in a great while, South and Southwest both merge for the forces of good and produce a restaurant like Doc & Mz. V's Diner.