Typing your name into Yahoo or Google or Bing or whatever the kids use to search the InterWebs these days isn’t simply a vainglorious way to waste time at work. It’s also a helpful tool to measure your worth in today’s post-Twitter world. Plus, it’s a good way to keep track of any crazy stalkers who are blogging about you and your sleep habits.
Reboot of literary classic plays fast and loose but remains reverent
The cinematic watchword for 2009 was “reboot.” For better or worse, Hollywood has been cautiously rebooting film series for a few years now (James Bond, Batman, The Pink Panther, Halloween). But in 2009, the movie industry started rebooting the hell out of stuff. We got all-new, updated, reimagined versions of Friday the 13th, The Last House on the Left, Sorority Row, Star Trek, Terminator, Land of the Lost, The Taking of Pelham 123, G.I. Joe, Fame, Astro Boy and A Christmas Carol. The latest major character to get a ground-up spit-shine is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's immortal “consulting detective” Sherlock Holmes.
Beats Staring at a Yule Log
Christmas Eve around the dial
The majority of Americans spend Christmas Eve with family—trimming the tree, roasting some large dead bird and hanging the stockings by the chimney with care in hopes that St. Nicholas soon will be there. The rest of us just fritter it away at a dive bar drowning our seasonal depression in cheap whiskey and Hank Williams songs. Either way, nobody’s watching a lot of TV. But if you feel the need to turn to your old friend the Idiot Box this Dec. 24, here’s what you can expect to find.
The Week in Sloth
“Disney Parks Christmas Day Parade” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) Kelly Ripa gets Disney World, while Ryan Seacrest handles the Disneyland portion. The Jonas Brothers and Demi Lovato are cattle-prodded out of their Disney-imagineered holding cells and forced to perform.
“ ’Til Death” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) FOX burns off four new episodes of this crummy sitcom on Christmas Day. Thanks for the lump of coal, Santa.
Holmes for Christmas (TCM 6 p.m.) Turner Classic latches onto the coattails of this Christmas’ big-budget Sherlock Holmes movie starring Robert Downey Jr. by digging a bunch of classic Holmes mysteries out of the vault: 1939’s The Hound of the Baskervilles, 1939’s The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, 1970’s The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes and 1931’s Sherlock Holmes’ Fatal Hour.