Alibi V.13 No.36 • Sept 2-8, 2004 

Gastrological Forecast

Sure, you love splashing Tabasco all over your tacos, but would you tip the bottle into your kid's mouth if she lied about eating her peas? An ABCNEWS.com poll revealed that while 65 percent of Americans don't think so-called hot-saucing children is acceptable, 35 percent do. Among that smaller group is Lisa Welchel. Remember her? She played Blair on the '80s TV series "Facts of Life." Blair, er, Welchel didn't really do anything big after "Facts of Life," which is why we still think of her as Blair, not Lisa Welchel. After leaving show business, the enthusiastically Christian actress raised three children, homeschooled them and wrote a book on her discipline methods, including hot-saucing. "It does sting and the memory stays with them so that the next time they may actually have some self-control and stop before they lie or bite or something like that," she said on “Good Morning America.” Hmm, if the hot sauce didn't hurt it wouldn't be an effective deterrent, right? And if it did hurt, that would be kind of like hurting your children, right? So why not just spank the crap out of them? Is hot saucing a "kinder, gentler" way of spanking? No, but we shouldn't be surprised. As Devin D. O'Leary says, Blair always was a bitch.

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Eating In

Pit-cooking Pork

A multicultural, low-tech matanza method for going whole hog

The matanza, or ritual slaughter and cooking of a pig, has been a part of New Mexican culture since the first Spaniards settled in this area. Neighbors would take turns hosting matanzas and share the resulting meat, a tradition that had real practical importance in the days before refrigeration. Now, cooking a whole pig in a pit in the back yard is less common but still an event that requires a lot of cooperation and benefits a lot of hungry mouths.

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The Dish

All the News That's Fit to Eat

Which American city has the most coffee shops per capita? Who the hell knows. It seemed that Albuquerque was in the top spot after the the Associated Press reported on findings of the Specialty Coffee Association. The original findings revealed the shocking statistic that Albuquerque had more java huts than Seattle, New York or Los Angeles. Even per capita, that's a lot of coffee houses. Unfortunately, it was revealed a few days later that the statistics were wrong. The Specialty Coffee Association did not release corrected figures.

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Bottoms Up

Sweet Seduction

Riesling rocks with food

Over the weekend, I had a culinary orgasm. It lasted four hours, and occurred in a dark corner of a restaurant. Amid a roomful of people, I blissfully consumed eight extraordinary dishes married with perfect wines. While basking in the beauty of this rather long, exultant moment, one thing struck me—the underbelly of sweetness in many of the wines, from the sparkling to the reds. Then the elegant, fragrant master arrived, Riesling, proving it still has what it takes.

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Photo courtesy of La Luna Bakery

EVENT HORIZON ()

The Itis

CBD-Infused Dinner

CBD has become a homeopathic miracle drug for not only the 505, but for a lot of folks in this country. For those suffering from anxiety, it's like all-natural Xanax. Experiencing pain? It can be more useful than ibuprofen and lidocaine. Its uses barely scratch the surface in this little blurb. La Luna Bakery and Café hosts its first CBD-infused dinner to show off the vastness of what can be done with this phenomenon. On Wednesday, Dec. 19 from 6 to 10pm the bakery, who are active members of the James Beard Foundation, partner with ABQ Barkeeps and Chef Robin Valdez for a four-course, medicated masterpiece. Those 18 and over can purchase a ticket for $75 and enjoy a full spectrum of flavors, not only in the thoughtfully prepared food, but from the delectably curated terpenes in each dish. The evening isn't complete without CBD-infused cocktails and dessert. While eating and chilling, receive some knowledge from Nature's CBD and Oils as they provide an education workshop during the meal.
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Chowtown Restaurant Guide

Whether you’re more familiar with the French Riviera or the French Quarter, there are plenty of places in Albuquerque to get a taste of authentic French cuisine. Read Hosho McCreesh’s review of Le Quiche Parisienne in this issue, and check out these other restaurants in the city that will cater to your wanderlust and make you feel, if only for the evening, that you’re dining in the City of Lights. Bon appetit, mes amis.