2007 Celebrity Deaths

And Death In General

There are two things and two things only that are constantly on my mind: celebrities and death. Three if you count the yeti. Yetis aside, I had fun cruising through this list of last year’s celebrity deaths. It’s a little irritating that you have to click through the considerable number of deaths one at a time, but it also makes you feel like you’re paying your respects. You get to see a picture. You get a brief overview of the celebrity’s accomplishments. You get to know the date that each of them died and, more importantly, how.

Cancer seemed to be the big winner, whether of the breast or the brain or the butthole. It makes me wince to think about it. “All we can do is make him comfortable for as long as he hangs on.” Comfortable, like with crinkly sheets, no blanket, a weird smock, beeping bedside machines and stainless steel butt probes. “He fought with courage until the end.”

Personally, I think an accidental drug overdose sounds more fun. Woo hoo! Party! Kevin DuBrow, singer for Quiet Riot, overdosed on cocaine. You’d think that he would have had the dosage down by age 52. But, you know, party.

Brad Delp, front man for Boston, pinned notes to various loved ones to his shirt, locked himself in the bathroom with two gas grills and a pillow and went to sleep. That sounds like one of the most peaceful suicides I can think of... for like if you can’t get your drug dealer to pick up. When you’re eating a Mrs. Freshley’s Cupcake there’s so much to live for... but, you know, moods change and all.

Being murdered would really suck, though. For example, if you were a psychologist and one of your nutty patients hacked you up with a meat cleaver. That would suck.

Here are my top ten favorite Celebrity Deaths of 2007:

1) Opera singer Jerry Hadley tried to kill himself with an air rifle and died in the hospital eight days later.

2) Michael Brecker (of the Brecker Brothers, here performing their non-hit “ Some Skunk Funk”) died of cancer.

3) Actor Lee Bergere, famous to me mostly for having played Abraham Lincoln on an episode of Star Trek, is also dead now. “Help me, Kirk!”

4) Comedian Richard Jeni shot himself. His family said he was crazy. I mean funny.

5) Barry Nelson died. He was reportedly the first guy to play James Bond - which was news to me.

6) Boris Pickett wrote “Monster Mash” then died of Leukemia many years later.

7) Gordon Scott played Tarzan, a human raised by yetis.

8) Wrestler Chris Benoit went crazy, killed his wife and kids then hung himself.

9) Kerwin Mathews played Sinbad in “The 7th Voyage of Sinbad.”

10) Col. Klink’s secretary, Sigrid Valdis, died. She was actually married to Bob Crane, who was kind of a werido.