Truth in Literature: American Psycho

I’m pondering Patrick Bateman's extremely provoking question as to whether or not it would be possible to fax a human liver. I'm going to need some help on this one because I'm certainly not going to try to fax mine. That would be counterproductive since, if it didn't work, I would be missing a vital organ and, if it did work, said vital organ would then be in Portland.

The Sharp Fo 4470 seems a likely bit of hardware and “... reduces your time in front of the fax machine on large document transmissions [with a] 16 Page Per Minute Print Speed Heavy Duty print engine.” No mention of a splashguard. The CLX-6200FX Color Laser Printer/Copier/Scanner/Fax Machine Functions with “384 MB Monthly Duty Cycle (Pages) : 65000 Power Consumption: 580W Peak Power” but I don't really understand what that means. Again, no splashguard.

The X644e MFP Monochrome Laser Multifunction Printer with “supporting labels, heavy media [emphasis mine], recycled media and specialty forms....Caller ID, Fax forward to another fax machine [or] email address” sounds intriguing but would a human liver faxed to an email address be viable? I'd have to print out the email and I don't think my little LexMark job would handle that. And wouldn't it really be just a picture of a human liver and not a real, faxed human liver?

It's a frustrating bit of business, really, when one realizes that an accounting firm can fax (or email) its quarterly reports without any problems but something as useful as a liver must be hand-carried from place to place.

So, in this case, we'll have to say that literature presents false hope and human livers are not able to be faxed under any conditions though it is still possible to fill in all the blanks of a crossword puzzle using just the words “meat” and “bone.”