How to Train Your Dog to do Something Weird

Dogs understand English, but only about as well as a cave man.

If you need to teach your dog something weird, try what I do. Say this to your dog in a very firm, angry voice:

“Mr. Gower cabled you need cash, stop. My office instructed to advance you up to twenty-five thousand dollars, stop. Hee Haw and Merry Christmas! Sam Wainwright. Stop. BAD DOG!”