Cryptid Alert! Slimy Lifeform Discovered in Sewer!

Thanks to Robert Masterson for showing me this footage of slimy, pulsating things living in a North Carolina sewer pipe. The images were captured by a construction company using snake cameras to inspect sewer lines. It hurts my balls just to look at it.

The current explanation is that these are colonies of tubifex worms. Yeah, as if.