Look what’s playing at the Guild this week. We accidentally lost their ad in our print edition—sorry for the inconvenience, everyone!
This Week at the Guild Cinema
Festival of Film Noir, Wal-Mart: The High Cost of a Low Price, and Green
Get Help Moving from the New Mexico Lottery
Are you planning on moving to a new apartment? If so, Sergio Gutierrez just won a new truck. He won it with a $3 “Bucks & Trucks” scratcher he bought at an Allsup’s in Santa Fe because his wife didn’t pack him a lunch (again). Sergio is reportedly so happy he could cry, but is aware of the social taboos against it.
This is not to say that Sergio is volunteering to help you move, either. I’m just saying he won a truck, so if you know him … it wouldn’t hurt to ask. If he says no, you can always try to win a truck yourself. Also, I have a kid at UNM, so I think scratchers are cool. Everybody buy scratchers.
The Daily Word in foodstamps, mugshots and eyeballs
Patrick Swayze’s mom died. She taught him how to dance and use the bathroom. I think I’ll name a drink after her.
There was a shooting in Chicago.
How to make ramen crust pizza.
Someday, I would like to have a pet antelope.
King Nerd delivers a speech.
SNL is finding cast members on the web.
Yes, I do always have to post something about Star Trek.
Everyone loves pictures of eyeballs.
Beware Mountain Dew Mouth.
Rest in peace, Mary, of Mary and Tito’s.
Happy birthday Devin O’Leary.
The Daily Word in Flooding, Bacon, Bacteria and Pornotopia
It’s Friday the 13th.
Al-Qaeda chief urges attacks on the US.
Bake your bacon in the oven the right way.
Low levels of gut bacteria may be linked to bitchiness and other disorders.
The Ig Nobel Prizes.
Roadkill: the ethical meat.
Monkeys think long and hard about bananas.
Grohl and Novoselic reminisce about Nirvana.
Fancy things are better. Right?
The New Mexico Supreme Court rules in favor of Pornotopia.
Happy birthday Barbara Bain.
Charles Bradley and the Extraordinaires: Surprise Show Tonight at Sister!
And it’s only $3 if you wear a funny hat. I made up the funny hat part.
The Daily Word in John Mellencamp, Wayne Bent, Obama and Guillermo del Toro.
John Cougar’s sons were sucking on chili dogs behind the Tastee Freez.
Obama played cards during the Osama bin Laden raid. The intern kept losing, but wouldn’t take her bra off.
A shark ate a lady’s arm in Maui.
Area 51 exists.
Take a peek at Guillermo del Toro’s sketchbook.
Google yanked YouTube access from Microsoft’s Windows Phone app.
Shittens are now available.
Enjoy these pictures of animals wearing clothes.
Albuquerque programmer Sean McCracken wrote the first game for Google Glass. The game involves killing aliens.
Happy birthday, Robert Culp. I don’t believe I’ve mentioned I’m related to Robert Culp. Or perhaps I have!
Cryptid Alert! View rare film footage of a Great Emancipator.
Though most people generally accept the existence of Abraham Lincolns as fact, there has been very little scientific proof (beyond photographs, eyewitness accounts, etc.) to confirm it. Until now. This newly uncovered film footage of a Lincoln in its natural habitat provides perhaps the most compelling evidence of their existence to date. If you see one of these in the woods, don’t shoot it. Yes, I’m looking at you, Mr. Booth.
Two of New Mexico's Youth Volunteers are honored with a warm, sweaty handshake from Kevin Spacey.
On May 5th, two New Mexico students received awards for their volunteer services. The Prudential Spirit of Community Awards gave Brianna Swinderman, from Rio Rancho, and Joseph Lee Estrada, from Velarde, titles as New Mexico's top youth volunteers for 2013 and as State Honorees.
A judging panel reviewed 5000 Local Honorees, and selected 102 to receive State Honorees titles. The panel chose these Honorees based on their personal growth, initiatives, impacts, and efforts.
State Honorees received $1000 dollars, silver medallions, and paid trips to Washington, D.C. for national recognition events. They also attended a gala awards ceremony at the Smithsonian's National Museum of Natural History, visited congressional representatives, and met the top youth volunteers from around the world.
The Prudential Spirit of Community Awards recognized ten of the State Honorees as National Honorees who received gold medallions, crystal trophies, additional $5000 awards, and $5000 grants, from The Prudential Foundation, that went to nonprofit, aid-giving organizations that the Honorees chose.
[Additional commentary from Nick Brown: What Sara failed to mention was that these teenagers got to shake hands with major Hollywood movie star Kevin Spacey. Spacey, you’ll notice from the photo, is even wearing a suit for the ceremony—it’s not like he just walked up there in a bathrobe and a bag of chips, demanding a $2,500 check. He took this thing seriously.
It reminds me of the time I got straight A’s in school; my parents were so pleased they hired Lee Majors to come to our house and congratulate me in person. Of course that never happened, and I never got straight A’s, either, but the story puts some perspective on how these kids must have felt shaking hands with Kevin Spacey. Spacey also recently photobombed a woman in Boston.]
Paranormal Freakout: I saw a ghost.
This morning I saw a ghost floating up in the neighbor’s back yard. When I looked again, it was really just a painter climbing a ladder. With the face of a human skull!