I love potatoes in all forms—and they do come in many—thus I’d like to start a conversation about their scintillating and delicious world. Particularly, I’d like to, if I may, discuss different ways to cook and eat potatoes. For the first installment: the tot. A deep fried cousin of hash browns and the redheaded stepchild of the croquette, tots are a nice, crunchy, tubular diversion from the standard French fry. “Tater Tots” proper are a registered trademark of Ore-Ida, and were developed in the early ‘50s as a way to salvage potato remnants—like hot dogs, but far less disgusting. Tots are delicious on their own, but I suggest the most glorious way to serve and eat them is in the form of “totochos.” Yes, this is a nacho hybrid wherein a bed of tots is smothered by cheese, tomatoes, chile, sour cream, guacamole, lettuce, onions, maybe beans, maybe meat. Totchos are best with beer and go well with a juke box full of classic rock. I insist, nothing in this world more bitching than cheese-covered plate of potato tubes, a pilsner and a Van Halen song.