Ten Things

Ten Things The President Got Right

Farewell, my pets.
Farewell, my pets.

This week’s issue of The Weekly Standard features an article called " Bush's Achievements, Ten things the president got right." I began reading it without knowing it came from that neo-con rag, and without knowing that it was serious. The article does a very good job of pointing out almost every horrible thing he has done, so I decided to make a real list of his achievements.

1. Didn't try to illegally run for a third term.

2. Made those great Christmas videos that put a smile on America's face.

3. Successfully landed that jet. (Though maybe it would have been better if it had crashed into the ocean.)

4. Backed HIV/AIDS programs in Africa. (But then discouraged handing out condoms.)

5. Gave America and the rest of the world something stupid to laugh at for eight years.

6. Choked on a pretzel. (Is that an achievement? Yeah, I think it is.)

7. Did his job so efficiently that he found time to take lots of vacations.

8. Knew how to keep a smirk on his face no matter what was happening.

9. It was hard enough to come up with eight...

10. It was really hard.