The Daily Word in Fantasy, Romance and Mite Orgies
It's Velen-Times! Use this quiz to find out which of your sexual fantasies are shared by your mate. Don't worry. Only matching perversions show up in the results. Your secret "Bernie on a jet ski" dream will never get out.
EPFL scientists have developed a robot arm that is strong enough to pick up heavy objects, but sensitive enough to pick up an egg. Sexbot wars, engage!
If you can't figure out how to make your partner dump you in 10 seconds flat, call a taxi and cross your fingers that ABQ's Karaoke cab shows up (like gonorrhea, it appears when you least expect it).
Life-sized Star Wars sculptures made entirely from Legos are making an appearance at the New York Toy Fair. (Editor's note: Insert virgin nerd joke here).
How's this for romance? Mites are having sex on your face right now. I think that counts as an orgy. High five!
Want to make your partner feel like an under-achiever? Tell them about the man who cycled from India to Sweden to be with his sweetheart. (Don't mention that if it hadn't worked out, this whole thing would have been about the world's creepiest stalker, instead).
Are you a hopeless un-romantic who hates this ridiculous holiday? Well you're not alone. Read this op-ed by self-proclaimed "Valentine's Day Grinch", Winthrope Quigley of the ABQ Journal.