Let's Talk About My Pants

In this photo of a like pair of jeans, note the ample room for ethnic hips
In this photo of a like pair of jeans, note the ample room for ethnic hips

So, this past weekend I needed new jeans. I have about six pairs of jeans currently, but my favorite pair had withered into a sad echo of itself, all wispy cobwebs of denim memories. So I decided to go back to where I had got them to see if I could replace my Banana Republic Contoured Fit Boot Cut Regulars.

We go. No Contoured. Plenty of Classic (straight-legged for ladies with straight legs). Plenty of Skinny (which is what skinny people wear, I hear). Then I talk to a lovely pregnant shopkeeper who informs me that the Contoured cut I so desire is now called the Urban. I try on these Urbans.

And lord in heaven, hallelujah.

They fit, which is stunning, since I'm curvy. I have a butt and hips and thighs. OK, so everyone does, but mine are big. And not only do these jeans fit all these places, but somehow I've managed to squeeze into a single-digit size, which even though it's a lie feels good. Like when your parents are all, "You're the smartest," and you have a sneaking suspicion that's only mostly true but you take it. You take it! And I took these jeans.

Then I started to wonder. Why "Urban"? "Contoured" was exactly what they were; not straight. What was Urban about my jeans? That's when it hit me:

These are 'ethnic' jeans.

Evidence: Cut for a bootay, with a smaller waist. And everyone knows that urban areas are where ethnic people (such as J.Lo) live.

These jeans are one more piece of evidence that I may be ethnic, too. I've long suspected it, but now I feel it.

I'm just glad they are making jeans now for my people.