Meet the Alibi Staff: Captain Bill

Transistor Technician

Captain Bill.
Captain Bill.

The Alibi doesn't just rely on print media to get its message to the masses, we're also part of the low-power revolution. So when our transistor needs to be tweaked, we call the best swashbuckler in the pirate radio biz, Captain Bill.

Bill's hook-hand might make people question his manual dexterity, but his craftsmanship speaks for itself. "I'm really good with my hand," Bill says after a swig of rum. "You'd be surprised what you can do with one normal hand and one horrifically disfigured nub."

Bill doesn't like to talk about how he lost his hand, but he does like to tell joke after joke with hook-related punch-lines, such as 'I didn't let him off the hook,' and 'she fell for it, hook, line and sinker.' One staff member recalls an evening when he declined to laugh at one of Bill's gags. "I thought his eyes were going to set me on fire," the staffer says. "Bill's a tough guy on the outside, but he's a real softy when you get right down to it. A softy with a large, sharp hook-hand."

Bill's constant companion is his parrot, Pete, who has a real knack for stealing people's eyeglasses. On one occasion, Pete was so aggressively pursuing one ad rep's glasses that he inadvertently pecked his eye out. "He snatched my glasses and kept right on pecking," the one-eyed rep recalls. "Pete didn't mean it. I like eyeglasses too so who am I to judge."