So I threw away my calculator. It was one of those expensive beasts with a built-in transistor radio and the works. We'd had an on-again off-again relationship since I'd started figuring out tip amounts in my head, and I'd finally decided to make a permanent break. (They call this “foreshadowing.” Would I need that calculator later? Most likely!)
To celebrate my new freedom, I went to peek in at Organtica, a fairly new storefront with a lime green color scheme that emits some sort of force that attracts dummies like me.
The small showroom was in-the-round, and on entering, I found myself surrounded on all sides by friendly staff, bored by the lull in business. My budtender enthusiastically showed off the locally made pipes they had for sale and some packaging on display (empty unfortunately), that would be used for strains they plan to carry in the near future.
I immediately started having trouble. So, can I get a gram of that? No. Just a two-gram. A gram of this? Yes, but only as a joint. Her blonde hair and Southern drawl reminded me of my 11th grade algebra teacher.
Oh, Ms. Longbotham, if only you could see the numbers I'm juggling now.
With some help from the budtender, I managed to make an order. I grabbed two joints and a pack of flower. I was a little irked because I tend to buy single grams of multiple strains so I can properly dose myself at different times of the day with different results in mind. Being forced to get a two-gram pack is obnoxious. And in most other stores, a pre-rolled gram costs $10 or less. The $12 price tag, while not painfully high, was annoying since I prefer to grind my own buds right before I smoke them (less surface area means slower deterioration while in storage). But when I saw the cute little pug eyeballing me from the photo on that two-gram package of Tres Dawg, I felt my irritation slip a little.
Back home, I dug through my spoils and discovered that the labels didn't list THC percent, just THCA. The displays in the store had definitely listed it, but here, when I needed it for my review notes, it was nowhere to be found. I suddenly missed my calculator like a hacked off limb.
Okay. Here's the formula: THC total = (%THCA) x 0.877 + (%THC). I tried it on my fingers first, then on a piece of paper. Let's see … That puts Zak Haze’s THC percent around 20 (THC: 20.28%, CBD: 0.04 %—$12/pre-roll gram) and Tres Dawg’s THC percent around 23 (THC: 23.08%, CBD: 0.04 %—$24/two grams) if I calculate correctly. Sheesh!
After a light lunch and a walk, I eagerly fired up a pinch of Zak Haze. I'll say this: Even though I was irritated about having to buy my gram as a pre-roll, they definitely didn't short on it. I poured the cannabis out of the paper (as I am wont to do) and found a clumpy mound of freshly ground medicine, not the usual dregs I find from other store's joints.
I'd been waiting for this one, because it's an original strain from Organtica. Their site tells the story of Zak Hayes, a member of the medical cannabis industry who passed after a struggle with cystic fibrosis. The new strain was developed as a memorial of sorts for the young man and has a significantly high CBGa content (1.3% at the time of testing).
CBGa is a cannabinoid that is known for its analgesic, antibacterial, anti-inflammatory and anti-proliferative (inhibits the growth of cancer cells) properties. This strong and uniquely flavored flower held a mighty body high and an incredible sense of well-being. The long-lasting effects made Zak Haze an impressive strain.
And at the end of the day, impressive medicine makes for an impressive dispensary. But seriously, guys. Can't a playa just get a gram and call it a day? All these numbers are making my head hurt.