I gave up on checking back. I think that was a couple of months ago. Then, last weekend, I saw something with the word “clover” and remembered the place. I took a gander, and—wouldn't you know it—they've done a one-eighty while I wasn't looking. They might have one of the lowest priced menus in the city (at the moment).
When I was a kid, these two gas stations that faced each other on a suburban backroad were each quietly lowering the gas price every day to just a penny below the other. One morning, we all woke up to find that in the night, one of the stores' owners had strung up a banner over his front door: “GAS WAR,” it said in bright, red, four-foot tall letters. And though I was then—and remain—a pacifist, I must admit it was thrilling to watch. The free market in action is a fascinating thing.
I'm not saying there's a war going on or anything, but whatever pressures were applied, Seven Clover manages a great selection of strains, many of them priced at $10 a gram. Throw in a nicely designed showroom and a friendly-as-hell staff, and you’re cooking with that fire, son.
The low price point and a free gram twisted my arm into buying a stack, so strap in.
The first flower I smoked was THC Bomb (THC: 22.97%, CBD: 0.10%—$10/gram), a hybrid that seems particularly well-balanced. It smelled fruity and sugary, and tasted bright and sweet. At the time, I was watching a walkthrough of the game Inside with no commentary. I'd just wanted to see a little bit of the gameplay, but the next thing I knew, 45 minutes had passed. I'd been staring intently, the pipe (and most of a bowl) still clenched in my fist. This probably isn't a strain you want to be on when talking to others, but for tasks requiring intense concentration and little physical movement, it's perfect. The bodily disassociation means it will work well for those with nerve troubles or pain.
After shaking off the more intense vibes, I tapped into Killer Purps (THC: 23.88%, CBD: 0.12%—$12/gram). This strain is a sativa-dominant cross of Sour Diesel and a purple phenotype of Buzz Bomb. Of the strains I picked up, this one tasted the best—like sweet honeysuckle or gardenia. It instantly mellowed me out without seeming to affect any of my exemplary physical prowess. It would be great for a more anxiety-ridden day—one where I still have to go outside and use my cat-like reflexes in public.
I followed it with Peaches and Cream (THC: 14.07%, CBD: 0.14%—$10/gram), but we'll talk about that later.
The next morning, I woke up with a bowl of Golden Goat (THC: 18.55%, CBD: 0.02%—$10/gram). Hands down, this one was my favorite. With a smell like lemon Pledge or some kind of fabric softener and a taste that was tart and peppery, the hits went down smooth at first, and were followed by intense fits of coughing. (I know most people shy away from coughy strains, but I think it should be noted here that one of the most amazing and under-appreciated aspects of smoking your medicine instead of eating it is that cannabis is an amazing expectorant—meaning it makes you cough out any nasty stuff residing in your lungs. As counterintuitive as it may seem, and although it's definitely irritating to the throat in the short run, all that hacking is good for your lungs.)
The Goat gave a strong body buzz, but left my mental acuity near baseline. It was mellow and euphoric, producing a strong sense of well-being. It seemed like it was butting all the negative thoughts right out of my brain.
Lazily drifting along on a stream of thought, I loaded up some of the Peaches and Cream again. The night before, I'd barely made it through the bowl before I was passed out and snoring in front of the TV like an old man. I'd had a long day, so I wasn't completely ready to point the finger at the flower.
So here I was, pinching off a small bit at 11 in the morning. I once again enjoyed the aromatic and sensual quality of the broken up buds (which did smell faintly of peaches). I hit the pipe and sat back, waiting for the slightest hint of sleepiness like a hunter stalking his prey. I drew in more smoke and breathed out slowly, becoming one with my surroundings.
With a firmly set jaw and his attention like an arrow, he melts into the shadows. He waits for the mighty beast, still as death … and as dangerous! No force can separate him from his target. They are bound together as one.
I woke up with drool on my chin an hour later.