Alibi V.29 No.5 • Jan 30-Feb 5, 2020 

Cannabis Manual

Winter Fruit

We're in full-blown buttoned-down mode, here, people. Old Boomer Winter is back, and he's blowing up a furious mess of depression and anxiety for the whole country. Luckily, we're blessed with the presence of one of the greatest natural predators of the winter blues: that beautiful weed we call cannabis.

Yes, dear reader. We're laying our money down and contending that a good, stiff joint can be part of a healthy, balanced mental diet. But grabbing blindly for anything smokable isn't the way to go. The thoughtful smoker will be choosy about what strains they consume, making sure to match the proper meds to the proper needs. We've put together a list of our favorite strains for dealing with this bitter season. Use it as a guide—but remember to keep track of your own tastes and needs.

And as you turn up the heat and batten down the shutters, don't forget that there's still sunlight inside you and you don't have to let that frosty old jerk win.

Paradox

Paradox

A definitive sativa-hybrid, Paradox will burn away winter sluggishness and leave you whistling like it's summer again. The skunky and bright scents that accompany this beautiful flower perfectly accentuate its powerful mood-altering effects. Say goodbye to depression, listlessness and fatigue with this smooth, piney day-brightener. This strain will also inspire the maddest of munchies, so make sure the fridge is stocked.

Lavender Aura

Lavendar Aura

Put on “Purple Haze” and get ready to relax. This indica-dominant strain smells herby and fruity. Its floral and bitter hits can come on harsh and dank, but the vibe they leave in their wake is slow and heavy. This couch-locker's hypnotic effects will put you to sleep in no time flat. This relaxing treat is wonderful for relieving pain and insomnia.

Humboldt Star

Humboldt Star

Despite hailing from the West Coast, this strain smells of musk and swamps instead of sunshine and sea. A true hybrid, Humboldt Star will relax the body while stimulating the mind. With a grassy and smooth flavor profile, it's perfect for escaping those dreary winter days. This bud will help take the edge off of pain and give patients a spike in their creativity. Plan on giggling.

Cuban Linx

Cuban Linx

This unique sativa-dominant flower smells of must and chocolate. Be prepared for some harsh hits with this throat-scratcher. It tends to send patients into over-the-top coughing fits (meaning it's a great expectorant). This strain tastes like cloves and pine and bestows mental clarity and focus on its users. It also works great at taming nausea and other stomach issues.

Cat Piss Romulan

Cat Piss Romulan

Unsurprisingly, this musky strain smells like a cat urinated on a lemon tree. But don't let that deter you. Its rich pine, diesel and wood flavors more than make up for it. This strain is a balanced hybrid, so you don't have to worry about getting too antsy or sleepy—a perfect after-work buzz. It's great for relieving pain and nausea, and its chill high is perfect for battling depression or stress.

Nightmare Cookies

Nightmare Cookies

One of our favorite strains, Nightmare Cookies is an edgy sativa-dominant flower that will get your head buzzing and your mouth going. Its zippy, citrusy notes make this one of the best-smelling flowers out there. And its savory hits taste of herbs and diesel. Strap in for a wild ride with this one. It's not for the faint of heart. Patients will experience increased mental activity and stimulation along with a buzzy body high.

Future

Future

This strange hybrid from another time smells like cut grass and peanut butter. The smooth and light hits will seduce you, but be careful; Future can sometimes cause anxiety in the uninitiated. Its flavor profile stands completely in the sweet realm of fruit and berries, and it's known to produce relaxing and euphoric effects. This flower can make some people more sociable.

Pucker Factor

Pucker Factor

Relax those tightened up chakras, kids. Pucker Factor is here to save you from stress. This indica-hybrid will smooth out the wrinkles in your attitude and enhance your mood. Tasting of diesel and smelling of skunk, this seriously relaxing strain won't leave you feeling too sleepy or dopey. It's great for those suffering from pain who don't have time to take a nap. It's also good at stimulating appetite.

Secret Formula

Secret Formula

Get ready to ride the wave of euphoria and inspiration with Secret Formula. This powerful hybrid smells herby and slightly sweet. Its harsh and dense smoke tastes bitter and grassy. The effects of this mysterious flower are incredibly jolting and stimulating. Be ready for an intense burst of creative energy and increased pleasure. This hard-hitting bud could be useful for dealing with lethargy and depression.

12 Gauge

12 Gauge

Don’t let the name confuse you. You won't be getting blasted with 12 Gauge. Instead, this hybrid gives a smooth and mellow high—just what the doctor ordered in these crazy times. Smelling of pepper and the swamp, this cool flower tastes spicy with notes of diesel. It's perfect for bringing the static of everyday anxiety down to a reasonable level. This bud is a great go-to for that perfect mellow high, despite the scary name.

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