Alibi Volume 14, Number 33
August 18, 2005
Alibi's 2005 Survival Guide
In a way, every issue of the Alibi is a survival guide. Every week we supply you with all the information you need to fight the good fight in the Duke City. What would you do without your Alibi? You might die a quick yet excruciatingly painful death. At the very least, you'd have a lot less fun.
Selling used stuff
Your pockets and stomach are empty, and you feel like if you donate plasma one more time, you'll probably slip into a coma. The only thing to do then, it would seem, is get together all of your old books, CDs, video games and DVDs and sell, sell, sell! Desperate times call for desperate measures, so grab the director's cut of Demolition Man and head over to these businesses where they'll give you quick cash for your stuff.
A guide to mixed martial arts in Albuquerque
Personally, I'm more of a lover than a fighter, but even a lover can benefit from knowing a little something about the age-old arts of self-defense—especially since my own self-defense technique simply involves running really, really fast. Let's face it, in certain situations that just isn't going to cut it.
“When I first moved here, I thought Albuquerque was a dump,” says Christie del Castillo, laughing heartily at her own memory. “I thought there was nothing out here. But now, I love Albuquerque. It's clean, cheap to live in and has a great culture and a beauty that I always felt San Francisco had ... and snowboarding is only an hour away, at most!”
A canine guide to Albuquerque
Survival can often depend on the company you keep. If those closest to you are loyal, industrious and caring, your chances of fending off life's many challenges increase tenfold. With that in mind, it's clear that there are few better companions in this world than those whom we in the scientific community call Canis Familiaris. Here is a list of dog-friendly restaurants, parks and businesses that allow you to spend time with your drool-happy companion while taking care of life's other necessities. Most of the info from this section was obtained via abqdog.com. For more canine-related inquiries, check them out online.
Some people come to Albuquerque for the views, others come for the camping and still others come for school. Scott Smith came for all three. Coming from Philadelphia, he first visited the city in 2002 while scouting out schools for Chinese medicine and knew the instant his plane touched land that Albuquerque was a place he wanted to be.
A visit to Surplus City
I drove away from Surplus City (10805 Central NE, 292-7131) in my decrepit '60s compact last week in a simultaneous state of panic and dejection, knowing that the end of mankind was just around the corner. Just as ramshackle as my car, Surplus City is one of those strange and eerie yet amazing places that houses a crap-ton of weird stuff. Some might say junk; I say relics of the past. From military paraphernalia, old electronics, clothes and kitchenware to a million parts to things that I just essentially see as widgets, a whole amalgam of extra mass-produced things from bygone decades awaits a non-discerning shopper. As I roamed the store, encountering strange residues, smells, colors and conversations, I saw the aforementioned widgets, picking up the most interesting ones and thinking, "I don't know what this is, but I'm sure I'll need it to survive when the apocalypse comes."
Info at your fingertips
When is it best to make a tee time at a public golf course? Where is the best place to park for a play at the KiMo? What's the difference between the zoo and the BioPark?
Two words: Duct tape. (Just kidding.)
According to the Federal Emergency Management Agency and the American Red Cross, there are six basic items that dangle mere inches between you and an uncomfortable demise in any given disaster situation: water, food, a first aid kit, clothing and bedding, tools and supplies and "special items." Survival experts posit that if you meet each necessity in sufficient quantities, your chance of survival can increase almost exponentially over those who do not. Don't be a fool—prepare and survive, already!
Our very own Alibi staffer Megan Sikkink came to our fair city this past January in hopes of finding a place where she could work legally. That is, she came back to the states after a stint in Australia (where she didn't have a work visa) and decided to land in Albuquerque. Anyhoo, lucky for us, she's here now—and perfectly legal.
Karina Bailõn lived in San Bernardino, Calif., her whole life and had no idea what Albuquerque would be like when she came out one electric evening for an interview. Spending the entire day indoors in interrogation for her new job in spatial data (i.e. mapping), she didn't see much of Albuquerque until nightfall, when it happened to be right smack dab in the middle of a lightning storm. But despite, or maybe because of, the circumstances, she still managed to generate a positive impression of the city. Enough so that, in October of last year, she left her hometown and settled in Burque.
You're the next MacGyver. Just not as sexy.
When disaster strikes, in order to survive you need to be able to fend off the a-holes who are going to want to take your crap. There are obviously many ways to do this, from a whole spectrum of weaponry, to hand-to-hand combat, to barricades, to diplomacy (which is obviously for pussies). But why not learn a much more sly, deceptive and comical way to circumvent the enemy? The well-placed boobytrap designed by a skilled boobytrap artist has the potential to get you out of almost any sticky situation. From the old bucket of water above the door trick to intricate disguises for explosives, the boobytrap may be your key to survival.
Michael Hegyi isn't technically a newcomer, as he actually lived in Albuquerque for a number of years as a child. But he was gone for 11 years, only returning in May of last year, so we think he still counts.
Crucial contacts at your fingertips
Here's a list of every possible number you could ever conceivably need to subsist in New Mexico (more or less). Also listed, whenever possible, are TTY and TTD numbers, as well as e-mail and web addresses. Admittedly, the city's new 3-1-1 number, which provides information and contacts for many Albuquerque-related inquiries, has stolen a bit of this list's thunder by rerouting some of these numbers to its 3-1-1 call center. Nevertheless, whether your call is rerouted or not, these numbers will help you get your desired information. Tear it out and stick it on the fridge.
The low-down on recycling in Albuquerque
Looking at a glass mountain from a distance, it's nearly impossible to tell it's not the real thing. You almost swear you see piñon trees. But, upon further inspection, the tiny pulverized stones of blue, brown and green become apparent, and the way they glimmer in the sun is certainly not like any typical topography.
The city councilor for district six rejoices that the minimum wage initiative has made it onto the October ballot
In Albuquerque today, there's cause to celebrate. Just last week, the Albuquerque City Clerk verified the 13,393 valid signatures necessary to place a minimum wage initiative on the October ballot. It is worth noting that this is approximately four times the number of valid signatures needed to run for governor of NM. In fact, because the bar is so high, this marks the first time a city ordinance has ever been successfully placed on the ballot by the citizen petition process. Congratulations.
A Supreme Court shaped by Bush will want to know
What does a wolf matter? What difference would it make if we lost every silvery minnow, Chiricahua leopard frog, checkerspot butterfly, willow flycatcher or any other of New Mexico's endangered species?
Is the city abusing the nuisance abatement ordinance?
Earlier this summer, when suspicion about our federal court system was already raging at white-hot levels, stoked pyromaniacally by neocons in Washington eager to undo 50 years of judicial progress, the Supreme Court casually tossed a tad more gasoline onto the flames.
Dateline: England—When 59-year-old Melvyn Reed woke up from a triple-bypass heart operation earlier this summer, he was greeted by his loving wife and his loving wife and his loving wife. Obviously, the British bigamist didn't count on all three of his spouses turning up at his bedside at the same time. Reed had apparently tried to stagger the hospital visits of his wives, but a scheduling conflict ended with all three of them in the hospital at once. British media reports say that, upon realizing something was amiss, the wives held a meeting in the parking lot and learned they were all married to the same man. A spokeswoman for the Crown Prosecution Service confirmed that Reed, a company director from Kettering in central England, turned himself in to Wimbledon police on May 12 and confessed to being a double bigamist. He pleaded guilty to two charges of bigamy on July 19 and was given a suspended sentence of four months in prison and ordered to pay 70 pounds ($126). According to Metropolitan Police, Reed married his first wife, Jean Grafton, in 1966, then left without divorcing her. He went on to marry Denise Harrington in 1998, then married Lyndsey Hutchinson in 2003. British media have widely reported that Reed recently moved back in with his first wife. Harrington and Hutchinson had sought advice on getting their marriages annulled, but lawyers have advised the women that their marriages were never valid.
Native Cinema in Santa Fe—For the fifth year in a row Santa Fe's Center for Contemporary Arts will be presenting its Native Cinema Showcase. Taking place Thursday, Aug. 18, through Sunday, Aug. 21, the Showcase celebrates the best in new and classic films and videos by and about Native Americans. This year's Showcase will also incorporate visual arts and performances, including an opening night concert with Gary Farmer and the Troublemakers. Among the films to be screened are Kate Montgomery's Christmas in the Clouds (a screwball comedy set in a struggling, Native-owned ski resort), Chris Eyre's Edge of the World (based on the true story of a girls' basketball team in small-town New Mexico) and Roberta Grossman's Homeland (a documentary profile of five Native American activists fighting to protect their lands from environmental hazards). The Showcase is produced by the Smithsonian National Museum of the American Indian and the CCA. For a complete schedule of events, log on to ccasantafe.org. The CCA is located at 1050 Old Pecos Trail.
Disney unleashes the birds of war in a dodgy new import
Recent events, including a stockholder revolt and plummeting theatrical profits, would lead one to believe that Disney has painted itself into a corner.
Punk rock romance mixes sexuality, multiculturalism and substance abuse into one heady cocktail
Head-On is a romantic comedy with razor blade edges--a sexy, sweaty, blood-stained love story that's more Sid and Nancy than Bogart and Bacall.
“Hogan Knows Best” on VH1
As has become unmistakably clear to even the most casual VH1 viewers, the channel has phased out 99 percent of its purely music-related programming (music videos are now given the coveted Mondays at 3 a.m. time slot) and chosen to focus its energies on all-out celebrity worship.
The Week in Sloth
with A La Faderz, Black Maria, Garbage Pail Kidz, Moksha Jehannum, Mystic Vision, Skull Control, 2Bers, With These Weapons, UHF B-Boy Crew
Saturday, August 20; Silver between Harvard and Yale (all-ages): Warped Tour was a blast and all, but something was missing down in Las Cruces this year. Sure, there were all the requisite alternative rock bands. Sure, every conceivable faction of teenage subculture was in full force and, yeah, merch tents dotted the landscape with cheap, colorful geegaws as far as the eye could see. But where were the half-pipes? Where were the funboxes? The helmets, kneepads and ramps? In other words, where had all the skateboarders gone? Warped Tour was founded to promote skateboard culture, yet, except for a random Bad News Bears batting cage, there wasn't any to speak of this time around. Well, screw those guys! Let's start our own damn skate festival—a totally local one with a makeshift outdoor skate park. We can have good local music with everything from hip-hop to reggae to hardcore to metal. Let's shut down Silver Avenue right here in Albuquerque and do this thing right. We'll call it the First Annual Silver Skate Jam '05, and we'll make it happen from noon to 8 p.m. this very Saturday. And here's the best part—we'll get the Silver Board Shop to do all the work for us! Doesn't that sound like a magnificent pipe dream?
with Run Run Run and Redfield
Friday, August 19; The Launchpad (all-ages), $8: While the band claims to harkin from the city of Compton, I'm pretty suspicious. They say they sound like NWA meets Metallica, but why would they insult themselves by saying they sound like Metallica? On top of it all, they say "we rock your face off or we shoot you," and that sounds pretty thug, but how are they going to get people to listen to them if it will only result in getting your face rocked off or shot? And are thugs even interested in rocking? I don't think so. This is what I think is going on here: they're frontin', yo. Your Name In Lights is actually a local emo-y band that contains Mario, formerly of Left Unsaid, Lucas Spider, formerly of Oh, Ranger! and Gabe, formerly of Jet Black Summer and a couple other guys I'm unfamiliar with. These guys aren't thug at all, but they do know how to rock your face off, and along with Tempe rock elders, Redfield, this show just may pop a cap in your ass.
If you're in search of soulful funk and R&B in New Mexico, Felonious Groove Foundation is the best game in town.
Jocko Agency, Obscene Jesters, Unorthodox and Killing Gracy will play a rather eclectic set this Saturday, August 20, at Puccini's Golden West Saloon. The show starts at 9 p.m. and costs $5, but you've got to be at least 21 to get in. Sorry, children.
Lance Letscher painstakingly assembles works of art from antique ledgers, battered schoolbooks, handwritten ledgers, recipe cards and other aged detritus. His latest group of collages goes on display starting this Friday, August 19, at the Richard Levy Gallery (514 Central SW). The show is called Drawing with Scissors.
Transitions at 516 Artspace
For the last decade and a half, Magnífico organized an annual juried show of local contemporary art. Sadly, the arts organization recently went the way of the pterodactyl. Not to worry. Some people who used to work for Magnífico didn't want the idea to die, so they pooled some resources and put the event together this year anyway.
Harwood Art Center
For those of you who like a little language to guide you through paintings, the Harwood Art Center (1114 Seventh Street NW) presents Between the Words: In Search of Visual Lyricism. There is a strong historical link between poetry and the visual arts. Poets and painters have crossed over into each other's territory for centuries. For the Surrealists and Dadaists, writing was as important as painting, and they would often combine the two. Timed to coincide with the National Poetry Slam, Between the Words features paintings by eight artists who use text in their works or otherwise attempt to visually represent poetry. The reception will be held on Friday, August 19, from 5 to 9 p.m. Runs through August 30. For more information, call 242-6367.
Some true survival guides
Alibi fast-food critic Nick Brown knows a thing or two about survival. A member of the highly secretive Green Chile Militia for the past 19 years, he spends three weeks every summer training with fellow survivalists deep in the Gila Wilderness near Silver City.
Celebrate the end of your workday with booze at rock-bottom prices.
You work hard. You like to party. You're also a tightwad. (Sorry, someone had to say it.) Have you been introduced to our friend the happy hour? You know, the amber-colored window between 2 and 10 p.m. when liquor is cheap and things to snack on are abundant? No? Well here's just the push you'll need to get started. What we've got is a random cross section of the Duke City's "velvet hours;" a few places we head to when it's time to duck out of the office for a cocktail or two. Is it complete? Hell no! Other bars with better deals do exist out there. But, at least for now, we can personally vouch for the hours you see here. If you've got some favorites of your own, don't hesitate to e-mail 'em to firstname.lastname@example.org. We'll be more than happy to check out your suggestions.