Alibi V.21 No.38 • Sept 20-26, 2012 



Best Store to Ruin Your Credit Rating In: REI (Recreational Equipment Inc.)

Best Vinyl Selection: Bow Wow Records

Best Stripper: Stephanie Evans, the Human Supersoaker

Best Lounge: Martini Grille

Best Place to Admire Zip-Around Jeans: Midnight Rodeo

• With Iraqi civilians starving en masse under U.S. sanctions imposed after the Persian Gulf War, Alibi staff writer Stephen Ausherman travels there and reports back in an in-depth, two-part piece. Cap’n Opinion runs a fake Q&A with Democratic congressional candidate Phil (m)Aloof titled “Interview with the Vapid.” The paper changes formats, adopting the short-tabloid.

• Outside Española, a newly installed statue of Juan de Oñate has its right foot sawed off. “We took the liberty of removing Oñate’s foot on behalf of our brothers and sisters of Acoma Pueblo,” says an anonymous group claiming responsibility for the act.

Best Haiku as Written by the Albuquerque Tribune:

Blah blah, “Blah blah blah blah blahh”
Blah blah blah blah blah. ...

—Pele Inc. 1998

• The Dingo Bar closes. Golden West comes back to life.

• Pretty boy bands (Backstreet Boys, N Sync) begin cropping up like teenage acne.

• The likes of The Jesus Lizard, The Eyeliners and Beefcake in Chains are headlining shows at Launchpad.

• Drive-through liquor windows are outlawed.

• A major peace accord is brokered in Northern Ireland after 30 years of bloody conflict between Protestants and Catholics, Unionists and Irish nationalists.

• James Cameron’s Titanic sweeps the Academy Awards, winning 11 Oscars (tying a record set by 1959’s Ben Hur). It also becomes the highest grossing film of all time. At least until Cameron puts out Avatar.

• The stylish iMac G3 is released by Apple, sparking a design phase in which all household accessories (from speakers to toasters) came in Bondi Blue- or Tangerine- or Lime-colored plastic. Look hard and you still might find a few iMac corpses laying around our offices.

• President Clinton is impeached in December by the House of Representatives on charges related to the Monica Lewinsky sex scandal, as well as a lawsuit filed by Paula Jones.