Alibi V.22 No.14 • April 4-10, 2013 

Best of Burque 2013


Best Bar Staff


Best Bar StaffAnodyne
Best Bar Staff


I don’t know how they do it, but some bartenders can listen to me describe the symptoms of my diverticulitis night after night as though it’s the first time I’ve told it. I tip well for that service.

2) Tractor Brewing Company

3) O’Niell’s Irish Pub

Best Dive Bar


Anodyne wins this year’s Best Dive Bar category, which is kind of ironic since one has to climb a steep flight of stairs to get into the joint. To us, this bar will be referred to henceforth as the place Michael Fassbender played pool while wearing form-fitting sweatpants.

2) Low Spirits

3) Burt’s Tiki Lounge

Best Swanky Bar


Soft music, candlelight and the tap, tap, tap of diamonds against wine glasses. People have fun getting tipsy in their Sunday School clothes.

2) Apothecary Lounge

3) Scalo and Imbibe (tied)

Best Gay Bar

Effex Night Club

Dancing in a drug-fuelled, dizzy disco doesn’t seem to be much of an option as of late. Maybe that’s a good thing because if gay people know one thing, it’s how to throw a good party sans ridiculousness. Well, maybe not entirely. Guess you’ll have to skip down to Effex Night Club to find out.

2) Sidewinders

3) Albuquerque Social Club

Best Rock Bar


The strum of guitars, the amped-up sound of music magic being made under a ramshackle roof, those were the days! Launchpad, the city’s premier rock venue, makes those memories come alive as a significant place for innovative music.

2) Sister

3) Low Spirits

Best Country Bar

Dirty Bourbon

My favorite country song is called “Darlin’, My Fingers Don’t Bend That Way.” I hope they’ll play it at Dirty Bourbon because that’s the place Ellie May and her critters love best. Plus they have a mechanical bull and a 1,300-square foot dance floor. Sa-lute!

2) Caravan East

3) Sidewinders

Best Cocktails


For some people, the best cocktail is one that embodies a perfect balance of elements. For others, the best cocktail is just really strong.

2) Anodyne

3) Nob Hill Bar & Grill

Best Brew Pub

Marble Brewery

Albuquerque’s Brew Pub Renaissance continues to explode, and for good reason. Burque produces some amazing beer and there are plenty of people willing to lap it.

2) Tractor Brewing Company

3) Il Vicino

Best Sports Bar

Uptown Sports Bar

If you consider drinking a sport, then they’re all sports bars, right? Wrong. People like to go to actual sports bars. Go team.

2) Spectators

3) Fox and Hound

Best Bar for Dancing


H. P. Lovecraft said, “Almost nobody dances sober, unless they happen to be insane.” Too bad most dance clubs serve alcohol. It makes it harder to spot the crazy people.

2) Dirty Bourbon

3) The Library

Best Happy Hour


It’s always Happy Hour someplace. But we live in Albuquerque, so Happy Hour generally starts around four o’clock. Set the dinger on your iPhone, in case you forget.

2) O’Niell’s Irish Pub

3) Low Spirits

Best Karaoke


The best place to get your musical daydream mojo on is in the Heights. Whether you want to ooze Ginuwine's “Pony” or belt out a Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton-like duet of “Islands in the Stream,” Retro's has you covered.

2) Sneakerz

3) Graham Central Station

Best Bar Decor

Burt’s Tiki Lounge

One might argue, in this instance, that “decor” is loosely defined as a bunch of crap nailed to the walls—though fun crap it is, Mr. Wong. Congratulations to Albuquerque’s top crap nailers.

2) Anodyne

3) Sister

Best Strip Club

TD’s Gold

When you're feeling all “Flesh for Fantasy,” the glitteriest G-string action can be found at TD's Gold. Between lunch specials, limo service and an impressive rotating roster of guest performers and homegrown hotties, the TD's franchise continues to impress strip club aficionados.

2) TD’s North

3) Knockouts

Best Casino


A $1.2 million win on a penny machine could have helped spark the love our readers have for Best Casino. For me it’s people watching in the lounge on Saturday nights, with the mesmerizing Sandias as a backdrop. Whatever you like, Sandia hits the jackpot.

2) Hard Rock

3) Route 66

Best Casino for Eating


My name is Buddy and I love $2 hamburgers. (Group Response: “Hello, Buddy.”) Bien Shur, Council Steakhouse and the famous $2 hamburgers … you love them all, because the votes have Sandia on top for chow.

2) Route 66

3) Hard Rock

Best Poker Room


Poker is a hot pastime in Albuquerque and we’re a loaded hand when it comes to the poker room. Why be coy? I raise you $20 … think I got it? Once again, Sandia pulls a full house in our readers’ eyes.

2) Hard Rock

3) Route 66