I know a secret
can turn anything into
haiku pad pad pad
–anonymous
Rules for dating
my daughter. Do it 2 her
and I do it 2 you.
I want to learn to play
this air guitar, but
where do you plug it in?
Her ideas and metaphors
strangely mixed, she throws glass
at stone houses.
I never thought I’d pay
for sex, but I have four kids.
I’ve paid for sex.
You ask me why I
call you an untied shoelace?
Because you’re tripping.
Frank Sinatra was
a terrible lover. Always
wanted it his way.
Fabio. If you
can’t believe it’s not butter
you’re an idiot.
The heart is a child-
climbing on those jungle gym
ribs, kicking his feet.
Men own big cars to compensate.
I own no car. Does that
turn you on?
She dances with her shadow.
It always leads but never
asks for more.
If your breath was sunshine,
your eyes daffodils, your touch
would still be winter.
–Zachary Kluckman
DEFINITION
Alibi: to be
Someplace else when it happened
So they can’t blame you.
POLITICAL LOGIC
Obamacare: Like
Romneycare but from the Dems ––
Therefore it’s no good.
MALLS AND SCHOOLS
Let’s go shoot people,
like Breaking Bad on TV
and The Sopranos
THANKSGIVING
Halloween is done.
So let’s give thanks to Mammon
and start Christmas now.
HOLIDAY NOTE
What’s an anagram
For Santa? Well, try “Satan.”
You naughty, or nice?
RADIO TALKER
Not everybody
agrees with my opinion.
But you know they’re wrong,
NEW MEXICO
Traditionally
transparent: that’s adobe
building government.
ENCHANTMENT
Ah, New Mexico:
a balloon full of hot air ––
a symbol, of course.
CONTEST
Contest! You write stuff.
We publish, but don’t pay you:
Brilliant business plan!
–Bill
I am no witch yet
I have memorized a few
Lines from the future.
–Laura Weisberg
My favorite mash-up:
Salvador Dali Lama
melts clocks with kindness.
–Jordan Ganz
Time Warp Money Suck---
Out of luck feels so shitty
Spending time Sin City
–Joshua Halladay
Your breath is like an ashtray
Beaver in, beaver out.
Lake water ripples
Sunshine fades
–Tia
Haiku, this is not
Said it best, Master Yoda
Try? Do? Try not, Do.
–Ray Nance
Something went wrong. That
Is as clear and as simple
As I can make it.
–Laura Weisberg
Pass me that joint, dude.
Oh, wait a minute - you mean
That this is *my* hand?
–Richard M. Fye
This is not even Haiku
Syllables are not
Set in the correct order
–Peter Cheney
#58
Gas up the airplane
now for a road trip (not now)
zen not chem bot...bam!
–Denise Claeys
Chem Trails
These clouds are not clouds
but aluminum traces
infiltrating sky.
–Franchesca Montoya
Drifting slowly like
astronaut tears left in space
to weep through darkness.
–franchesca montoya
Peel back the ego, I.
Fall apart, a part of we,
melting into one.
–Franchesca Montoya
light gives way to it
thunder champs and chews it's maw
glass explodes for it.
–Ian K
off stage but in scene
placating immunity
how is the water?
–Michael Montoya
The worst word ever,
especially from a child:
va-jiggle-jaggle
–Chris Chapin
We started floating
beautiful when we go through
gravity dead spots
–Chris Chapin
Fever is better
Pack your bike or pack your back
Free as Alibi
–Mark Nolan
a fly goes dancing
across the smoky barroom
diggin’ some t. monk
–todd eddy
my jazz bone itches
the doctor says to “scratch it”
using poetry
–todd eddy
what was I saying
frogs fly and birds are croaking
who slipped me the trip
–todd eddy
great drunken haiku
(at least i believe they are)
build swaying bridges
–todd eddy
Sprout
Growing, glowing, bright, you.
Must you grow in my care?
Can't you always sat here?
–Jessika
Dig the Japanese,
out harvesting grains of rice
for their own sake.
–Bruce Gordon
Eye gaze threw the sight. Eagar pupils see image.Soaking the iris.
–Elizabeth Bryant
The dead see you Walt
One hundred eighty seven
crystal blue meth dream
–Gabe Montoya
Brash blended float stalls
sulking puppets scoff and twirl
fat eyes clock and globe
–Josh Montoya
A surreal entry.
This is not a haiku:
count the syllables.
–Larry Elmore
My mother buys me
This damage repair shampoo
Why does she do that?
–Nina Bice
I hear a voice call,
it speaks of dark and sorrow.
Now I want pudding.
–Kolya Venturi
Today was Christmas.
My uncle bought me a bear!
It tried to eat me.
–Kolya Venturi
Where the hell am I?
I am stuck in a time loop.
Where the hell am I?
–Kolya Venturi
Two tumbling toes,
That tell the trembling tale,
Of the thumping toes.
–Alberto Zarate
Full moon yellow haze
seeps through naked willow limbs
shrouded in shadows.
–Ben John
What have we to do but wait,
dreaming silly dreams
in this endless void?
–Ben John
down the rabbit hole
spiral spinning sparkle stop
drip drop then drift off
–Chris Patchett
Powder and oi'l.
<Paranoiac clairvoyance>
Lazers on foi'l.
–Kevin WetSpot
Strawberry fields are
the place where nothing is real
except glass onions
marbles in a stack,
drum kits made of egg shells crack;
porous vessels lack.
Have u t or me?
T for 2 + 2 for t,
me 4 u 4 me.
Some people have names,
Revilo P. Oliver,
that are palindromes.
I once hugged the Fonz
and smelled like his man perfume
hours thereafter
Damn, my house has bugs!
Does that mean you'll get a room
at the Comfort Inn?
My first mammogram
with Loder Selenia,
the ol' boob squisher
I'm on vacation
drinking beer in the shower,
wet-naked and buzzed.
The way I marched in
with my free panty coupon
made them roll their eyes.
–Jessica Mills
Journal headline reads:
"Metal bits self-assemble
Into lifelike girls."
–Kevin WetSpot
Feel for the ground.
Fart into a champagne flute.
Nurse a hobo's jones.
–Kevin WetSpot
Not your bag of wax?
Stuff it into your glove and
Moonwalk to daycare.
–Kevin WetSpot
Not so hard to write:
Non-haiku lacks season word,
contrast, sudden smile.
–Ronald Reed
Monsters scream with
Anger, cry with delight
Live another day.
–Austin
The room whispers tales
Shoes charm floors, knuckles ask doors
Earth, she turns in song
–jacob reinhardt
Skittlebum skerplat
Twist my nipples and feed me
Firemen are pink
–William Bolt
Carbon out in space
but diamonds are forever
I give you this ring
–Matthew Thompson
Aliens, from where?
Another dimension or
other galaxies?
–Jamal Molina
