Thursday 7
“Big Brother 6” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) “Big Brother 6”? Man, “The Bob Newhart Show” barely lasted six seasons.
Friday 8
“Stankervision” (MTV2 7 p.m.) Back when I was a kid, people used to watch Music Television for the music. Imagine that. Now, MTV's got 10 stations and not a hint of music on any of them. Instead, we get shows like this one starring Yucko the Clown from the Howard Stern Radio Show in which a guy dressed as an offensive clown goes out on the street and insults people.
Saturday 9
“Battlestar Galactica” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Cool. NBC is back to broadcasting reruns of Sci-Fi Channel's addictively good space-spanning series. If you don't have cable, I suggest you get it while you can.
“Catscratch” (Nickelodeon 7 p.m.) This new cartoon series follows the adventures of three felines who inherit their owner's vast fortune. Think of it as “The Beverly Hillbillies” with hairballs.
“History Detectives” (KNME-5 7 p.m.) PBS' educational “Antiques Roadshow” spin-off returns for a new season. Tonight leads off with a Kentucky woman whose great-great-grandfather was lieutenant governor of the New Mexico territory in the 1870s. She's got a photograph of Geronimo that may or may not be authentic. It's up to our research-loving detectives to figure out the true story.
Sunday 10
“The Surreal Life 5” (VH1 7 p.m.) Former “Perfect Strangers” star Bronson Pinchot, American model Janice Dickinson, British model Caprise, “Apprentice” villainess Omarosa, “Pepa” from Salt and Pepa, steroid junkie Jose Canseco and extreme motocross rider Carey Hart make up this season's meager selection of “celebrities.”
“Princes of Malibu” (KASA-2 7:30 p.m.) This new reality show follows the lives of Brandon and Brody Jenner, stepsons of music producer David Foster, who–for the sake of this contrived show–are being kicked out of their family mansion and forced to make a living. If the current hiatus of “The Simple Life” has got you jonesing for the lifestyles of the rich and stupid, this show should fill the gap.
“Hogan Knows Best” (VH1 8 p.m.) If your favorite C- or D-list celebrity does not have his or her own reality series, please feel free to e-mail the network of your choice–the show will be on in a week or so. Here, doddering wrestler Hulk Hogan and family get “The Osbournes” treatment.
Monday 11
“Rock Star: INXS” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) CBS helps the remaining members of '80s rockers INXS find a new lead singer for the band. Hopefully, this one won't be into auto-erotic asphyxiation.
Tuesday 12
“The 76th Annual MLB All-Star Game” (KASA-2 ?) Well, we know Jose Canseco won't be there. He's off shooting “The Surreal Life 5.”
Wednesday 13
“Brat Camp” (KOAT-7 ?) Reality strikes again. Teenage version of all those kids on “Nanny 911” get sent to an outdoor encounter camp where they learn not to be little shits.
