“Drawn Together” (Cartoon Network 11:30 p.m.) Raunchier than “South Park”? You bet! CN’s most FCC-offending series returns for a new season of scathingly funny cartoon criticism.
“Battlestar Galactica” (Sci-Fi 7 p.m.) Let’s take a look at our situation: The Cylons have become an occupying force in New Caprica, reducing the humans to a string of suicide bombings? Wow, could this show get any timelier?
“The 40 Dumbest Celebrity Quotes Ever” (VH1 7 p.m.) Only 40?
Scooby Doo! Pirates Ahoy! (Cartoon Network 8 p.m.) Jeez, it’s all about the pirates these days, isn’t it? I blame Johnny Depp.
“The A-Team” (TV Land 4 a.m.) Well, I could spend my weekend doing household chores, getting some healthy outdoor exercise or volunteering my time to help the underprivileged. Or I could just watch “The A-Team” for 48 hours straight on TV Land. ... Dun dah dun DUN, dun dah duh dun dun!
The Haunting Within (Lifetime 6 p.m.) A brother and his crazy sister (Billy Baldwin and Jodi Lyn O’Keefe) return to their creepy old ancestral home, only to find out mommy and daddy were into the witchcraft. This one’s a retitle of an unreleased 2003 thriller called Red Rover.
“Leave it to the Real Beavers” (Animal Planet 8 p.m.) Having spun some nature footage of a clan of meerkats into one of this season’s most absorbing dramas (“Meerkat Manor”), AnPlan doubles up with this documentary series about tree-munching rodents.
“The Scream Awards 2006” (Spike 8 p.m.) Spike honors the best in horror, fantasy and sci-fi. Was The Hills Have Eyes the best horror movie of the year? Was Aeon Flux the best sci-fi movie of the year? (No and no.) You can cast your vote online at www.spiketv.com.
“What About Brian?” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) I never thought I’d see this midseason series return to TV. Honestly, I liked the show, but it wasn’t exactly a smash hit. (The network only aired five episodes.) The main character (Barry Watson), the last bachelor standing in a clutch of thirtysomething married couples, is kind of endearing. Plus, the writing strikes a good balance between drama and comedy. Unfortunately, it’s opposite “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” and “CSI: Miami.”
“Getting a Ticket in America” (Court TV 8 p.m.) Video camera footage captures real people getting real speeding tickets from real cops. It’s like “COPS” but without any of the excitement.
“30 Rock” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) NBC finally debuts its other behind-the-scenes “SNL”-inspired show. Unlike “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,” this one’s a straight sitcom. Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin (the two funniest things to happen to “SNL” in the last 10 years) star.
“I Pity the Fool” (TV Land 8 p.m.) Mr. T gets his own self-help reality show in which he travels around the country dispensing wisdom, advice and loving encouragement (and, hopefully, big gold chains).