“My Name is Earl” (KOB-4 7 p.m.) Tonight’s episode, in which poor, neglected Earl puts himself on the karma list and gets a real job, is presented in the miracle of scratch ’n’ sniff. (Honest, you can pick up your odorous cards in this week’s TV Guide.) It’s also a “supersized” 36-minute episode--followed by a 43-minute “The Office,” a 34-minute “Scrubs” and a 67-minute “ER.” Got all that?
“The Ghost Whisperer” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) Argentina-born soap stud Ignacio Serricchio (“General Hospital”) drops by for a guest appearance on the supernatural season finale. His breasts aren’t as big as Jennifer Love Hewitt’s, but his hair is más hermoso.
A Stranger’s Heart (Hallmark 7 p.m.) Remember Samantha Mathis, the hottie from 1990’s teen anthem Pump up the Volume and 1993’s videogame opus Super Mario Bros.? Well, here she is in some Hallmark Channel weeper about a woman who gets a heart transplant and starts developing maternal feelings for the donor’s orphaned daughter.
“Food Network Caters Your Hawaiian Wedding” (Food Network 7 p.m.) Seriously? This is the first I’ve heard of it?
Beach Party/Beach Blanket Bingo (TCM 6/8 p.m.) It’s a double feature of Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello movies from 1963 and ’65. If you remember these films, let me warn you: They’re not as good as you remember. But they are painfully entertaining for a view of what 50-year-old movie studio execs thought teenagers looked and acted like in the ’60s.
“SNL in the ’90s: Pop Culture Nation” (KOB-4 8 p.m.) Check out sketches and interviews with past castmembers like Jimmy Fallon, Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, Tracy Morgan, Cheri Oteri and David Spade.
“House” (KASA-2 7 p.m.) Really, America? You’d rather watch reruns of “House” than new episodes of FOX’s “Drive”? ... OK, suit yourself. “Drive” gets the boot, “House” moves into the time slot.
“Hooters Dream Girl Challenge” (KASY-50 7 p.m.) I see where you’re going, MyNetTV, and I think I’ve got a master plan for you. If you can just hold out for six to eight months, Joe Francis, belligerent crybaby founder of “Girls Gone Wild,” will be out of jail and you can just hire him to head up the network!
“Jericho” (KRQE-13 7 p.m.) It’s the season finale. We’re still not sure who blew up the world and why, but at least we know that, in the event of a national disaster, we can always turn to each other. ... No, wait, that’s “turn on each other.” Seems the residents of Jericho will have their hands full tonight fending off scavengers from a neighboring town.