Alibi V.19 No.28 • July 15-21, 2010 

Week in Sloth

The Week in Sloth

Thursday 15

“Mary Knows Best” (Syfy 7 p.m.) It takes a certain stretch of the imagination to program a “reality” show on the “science fiction” network. But here it is, anyway. See, Mary is a self-proclaimed psychic and—theoretically, at least—actually does know best.

“Cellblock 6: Female Lock Up” (TLC 8 p.m.) I have a feeling this new docu-reality show about women in prison will prove that a whole lot of ’70s sexploitation movies lied to me.

Friday 16

The Jensen Project (KOB-4 7 p.m.) LeVar Burton (“Star Trek: The Next Generation”), Patricia Richardson (“Home Improvement”) and Kellie Martin (“ER”) star in this made-for-TV movie about a family of super-genius scientists who must battle an evil ex-colleague seeking to rule the world.

“Man, Woman, Wild” (Discovery 7 p.m.) First, we had one-man wilderness survival shows (“Man vs. Wild”). Then, we had two-man wilderness survival shows (“Dual Survival”). Now, we’ve got a husband-and-wife wilderness survival show. Next up: family with 10 kids wilderness survival show. After that: little people wilderness survival show. Bless you, cable, and your reassuring predictability.

“DC Cupcakes” (TLC 8 p.m.) Because—just like cake-baking reality shows—we can never have too many cupcake-baking reality shows.

A Look Under the Big Top (TCM 6 p.m.) TCM stokes our coulrophobia (fear of clowns, don’t you know) with a four-pack of scary circus films, including 1932’s Freaks (6 p.m.), 1960’s Circus of Horrors (7:15 p.m.), 1967’s Berserk (9 p.m.) and 1933’s Circus Queen Murder (11 p.m.).

Saturday 17

“Powering the Future” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Personally, I think the energy of the future will come from burning discarded cell phone batteries.

“Tia & Tamera Take 2” (Style 8:30 p.m.) If, like me, you’ve spent the last 15 years wondering what ever happened to the long-lost African-American version of the Olsen Twins, here’s your answer!

Sunday 18

“Strange Sex” (TLC 8 p.m.) Well, only if you do it right.

Monday 19

Lucky (HBO 7 p.m.) Filmmaker Jeffrey Blitz examines how winning the lottery changes the lives of ordinary Americans.

“Fabulous Cakes” (TLC 8 p.m.) Honestly, cable, I’m a little disappointed. You go back to cake now? Surely, the logical progression after cupcake-baking reality show is cookie-baking reality show. ... God, I give you all these great ideas for free and you don’t even act on them? Why do I bother?

“The VH1 Do Something Awards” (VH1 7 p.m.) As far as award show criteria go, “do something” sets the bar pretty low.

Tuesday 20

“After The Catch: The Good Captain Phil” (Discovery 8 p.m.) As you probably know already, chain-smoking, stressed-out Capt. Phil of “Deadliest Catch” died earlier this year. The crab-fishing reality show on which he appeared finally deals with his passing.

Wednesday 21

“Confessions: Animal Hoarding” (Animal Planet 7 p.m.) Finally! The Crazy Cat Lady in your town gets her own show!