“Dynamo: Magician Impossible” (Travel 10 a.m.) Sure, you could wonder aloud what this British street magician’s show has to do with travel. Or you could question why Travel Channel is airing it at 10 in the morning. Or you could just trust this quote straight from Dynamo’s website: “The greatest magic I’ve ever seen.”—Chris Martin (Coldplay). Would Coldplay lie to you?
“Viking Apocalypse” (National Geographic 6 p.m.) As usual, documentary programming trumps Syfy Channel for badass title of the week.
“Celebrity Motor Homes” (HGTV 7 p.m.) Even their RVs are better than ours.
“Wait, Wait ... Don’t Tell Me! A Royal Pain in the News” (BBC America 9 p.m.) The Beeb takes a tongue-in-cheek look back at the top stories of 2011.
See Idiot Box above.
“Disney Parks Christmas Day Parade” (KOAT-7 1- p.m.) People in Disney character costumes walk. Nick Cannon, Mario Lopez and Maria Menounos host. Jennifer Hudson, Christina Aguilera and Justin Bieber (of course) sing some stuff. ... Eh. It’s something to put on while you stuff shredded wrapping paper into trash bags.
“Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers” (KOB-4 6:15 p.m.) Now this should be a proper, chilly, snow-filled Christmas Day game.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (KOAT-7 7 p.m.) ABC has the audacity to follow Chuck Jones’ 1966 cartoon adaptation of the Dr. Seuss classic with the 2000 live-action Jim Carrey version. Feel free to play a game of compare-
“Doctor Who: The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe” (BBC America 7 p.m.) Finally! The Doctor goes all C.S. Lewis on us for this year’s timey-wimey Christmas special.
“Fascinating Celebrity Weddings” (E! 10 p.m.) As always, the E! Network and I have very different definitions of the word “fascinating.”
“Storm Chasers: Behind the Storms 2011” (Discovery 6 p.m.) The Storm Chasers crew members reflect on all the various and sundry ways they very nearly killed themselves taking pictures of tornadoes in 2011.
“The 34th Kennedy Center Honors” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Barbara Cook, Neil Diamond, Yo-Yo Ma, Sonny Rollins and Meryl Streep get feted in the entertainment industry’s driest, snootiest award show. No rap/pop mashups or wacky Lady Gaga dresses here. Just politicians clapping respectfully.
“Extreme Cheapskates” (TLC 7 p.m.) I tell you, these people make Scrooge McDuck look like ... well, some entirely different duck.