American Humane Association Hero Dog Awards (Hallmark 6 p.m.) Who’s a good dog? You are! You are!
“Bada Bling Brides” (TLC 8 p.m.) Well, they’ve stereotyped gypsy brides, why not Italian brides?
Teenage Bank Heist (Lifetime Movie Network 6 p.m.) Sounds like a Roger Corman film from the ’50s. Since it’s on Lifetime, though, it won’t be nearly as much fun.
The Christmas Consultant (Lifetime 6 p.m.) This is your first official warning, Lifetime: No matter how many you show, you only get one Christmas-themed, made-for-TV movie listing per week out of this Week in Sloth. I’m including this one because it stars David Hasselhoff.
The Wishing Tree (Hallmark 6 p.m.) Same goes for you, Hallmark. I’m including this one because Jason Gedrick plays a character called Professor Farnsworth. Somebody’s a “Futurama” fan.
“Chris Hardwicke: Mandroid” (Comedy Central 12 a.m.) Speaking of “Futurama” fans. TV’s funniest nerd discusses Captain Picard, Comic-Con and the Atari 2600. Some of us laugh knowingly.
“Finding Bigfoot: Untold Stories” (Animal Planet 7 p.m.) I wonder if one of the untold stories in this one-hour special is, “We found Bigfoot.”
“Breaking Magic” (Discovery 8 p.m.) If we can have “Breaking Bad” and “Breaking Amish,” why can’t we have “Breaking Magic”? I have no idea what any of it means, but it sure sounds cool.
“Building Alaska” (DIY 8 p.m.) Oh, DIY, you blew it. Should have been “Breaking Alaska.”
“Firefly 10th Anniversary: Browncoats Unite” (Science 8 p.m.) Captain Mal and the crew reunite to discuss Joss Whedon’s cult sci-fi series, which has found a new home (in reruns anyway) on Science Channel.
“Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s The Ghosts of Christmas Eve” (Hallmark 5 p.m.) Jewel and Michael Crawford help the new age symphony perform some Christmas tunes.
“Oliver Stone’s Untold History of the United States” (Showtime 6 p.m.) Filmmaker Oliver Stone (Platoon, JFK) looks back at the controversial, underreported and occasionally top secret events that shaped our country.
“Adventure Time” (Cartoon Network 8:30 p.m.) Cartoon Network thankfully races into season 5 after last month’s mind-bending, “Lost”-worthy, season 4 cliffhanger.
“I Love the 1880s” (History 9:00 p.m.) History Channel puts an educational spin on VH1’s nostalgic series.
“Catfish: The TV Show” (MTV 12 a.m.) The controversial, exploitative (and possibly fake) documentary by Nev Schulman and Max Joseph gets a weekly, docu-reality spinoff. Like the film, it chronicles people who have formed online relationships but have never met in person.
“Mankind: The Story of All of Us” (History 7 p.m.) Could you be a little more broad, History Channel?
“Eddie Murphy: One Night Only” (Spike TV 8 p.m.) Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Samuel L. Jackson, Martin Lawrence, Stevie Wonder, Russell Brand and Jamie Foxx remember when Eddie Murphy was funny.