Here’s my schedule for Thanksgiving Day: Watch TV, eat, watch some more TV, possibly eat again. Feel free to follow in my footsteps. ... Well, not so much footsteps, exactly, as I will not be getting up. But you get the idea.
So what can we expect to see on TV this Thanksgiving as we go through the long and laborious process of digesting? If you’re into parades, you can start off your day the traditional way with the 86th annual “Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade” (KOB-4 9am). You can follow with “Sesame Street: Trashgiving Day” (KNME-5 10am), in which Oscar the Grouch organizes the annual Trashgiving Day parade. I’m sure that will work out well for everyone.
If you’re only in it for the football, not to worry, Thanksgiving has a trio of great lineups starting with “Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions” (KRQE-13 10:30am), followed by “Philadelphia Eagles at Dallas Cowboys” (KASA-2 2:30pm) and capped off with “Seattle Seahawks at San Francisco 49ers” (KOB-4 6:30pm).
Love dogs? For some reason Thanksgiving has become the de facto canine holiday. You can catch John O’Hurley and David Frei hosting “The National Dog Show” (KOB-4 11am). Tune in again in the evening for “FOX’s Cause For Paws: An All-Star Dog Spectacular” (KASA-2 7pm). That delivers tales of rescue dogs, viral videos featuring dogs, funny stories about rescue dogs—basically any dog-related stuff the network could smash together on short notice.
A smattering of holiday specials round out the day’s original programming. “Thank You, America! With Robin Roberts” (KOAT-7 7pm) finds Roberts traveling around the country seeking out “unsung heroes and celebrating them with life-changing surprises.” “A Very Bonnaroo Thanksgiving” (VH1 7pm) offers up highlights from the Tennessee music fest’s 12-year history, including performances by Paul McCartney, Pearl Jam, Arcade Fire, Elton John and Mumford & Sons. “Comedy Central’s All-Star Non-Denominational Christmas Special” (Comedy Central 11pm) spotlights the stars of “Broad City,” “Drunk History,” “Key & Peele,” “Kroll Show,” “Nathan For You,” “Reno 911!,” “@midnight,” “The Colbert Report,” “Workaholics” and more as they deliver sketches, songs, short films and seasons greetings.
Of course if you’re in the mood for a good old-fashioned marathon, cable TV programmers are more than happy to accommodate you by pushing a “play” button and walking away for the day. Surely, there’s something for everyone amid the day’s all-you-can-eat buffet of old TV shows: “The Love Boat” (TV Guide 7am-1pm), “Modern Family” (USA 8am-10pm), “Life Below Zero” (Nat Geo 7am-1am), “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” (E! 8am-9pm), “Knife Fight” (Esquire 9am-6pm), “So You Think You’d Survive?” (The Weather Channel 10am-3am), “Alaska: The Last Frontier” (Discovery 10am-1am), “Duck Dynasty” (A&E 11am-1am), “Raising Hope” (CMT 1pm-9pm), “Pawn Stars” (History 2pm-1am), “COPS” (Spike 3pm-10:30pm), “Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown” (CNN 3pm-1am), “The Brady Bunch” (TV Land 3:30pm-7pm), “The Millionaire Matchmaker” (Bravo 4pm-11:30pm), “Shark Tank” (CNBC 5pm-12am), “America’s Funniest Home Videos” (WGN 5pm-11pm), “Best Bars in America” (Esquire 6pm-2am), “Nancy Grace Mysteries” (HLN 6pm-4am), “The Carbonaro Effect” (truTV 6pm-8:30pm), “Everybody Loves Raymond” (TV Land 7pm-10pm) and “Lockup” (MSNBC 9am-4am). MTV wins the holiday weekend Laziness Olympics, however, with its marathon of the viral video clip show “Ridiculousness,” which runs from 12:30am on Wednesday night to 8am on Friday morning.