Alibi V.23 No.52 • Dec 25-31, 2014 

Week in Sloth

“Doctor Who: The Last Christmas”

Thursday 25

“Disney Parks Frozen Christmas Celebration” (KOAT-7 9am) If you can stomach any more Frozen this year, this may be your last possible chance to hear “Let It Go” in 2014.

“Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas” (KOAT-7 7pm) You can watch the 1966 original, but change the channel before the 2000 abomination with Jim Carrey comes on at 7:30pm.

“Call the Midwife Holiday Special” (KNME-5 7pm) PBS’ quaint look at nuns and nurses in London’s East End, circa 1950, gets the holiday treatment, with everybody preparing for the Sunday School Christmas concert and dealing with a chicken pox outbreak.

“Doctor Who: Last Christmas” (BBC America 7pm) The Doctor teams up with Santa Claus himself (Nick Frost from Shaun of the Dead) to save Christmas.

Friday 26

“Now That’s Funny! On Set With TV’s Hottest Comedies: A Paley Center for Media Special” (KRQE-13 7pm) The Paley Center goes behind the scenes with the stars and producers of “The Big Bang Theory,” “Mom,” “The Mindy Project,” “Modern Family,” “Parks and Recreation,” “New Girl” and more.

Saturday 27

“WWE Tribute to the Troops” (KOB-4 7pm) WWE wrestlers salute our modern military by, you know, yelling into microphones and slamming each other’s faces into turnbuckles.

A Wife’s Nightmare (Lifetime 6pm) I knew you couldn’t hold out that long, Lifetime. It was only a matter of time before you dropped the insincere holiday cheer and went back to doing what you do best: stoking the domestic fears of suburban housewives everywhere. Here, Jennifer Beals (oh, hi!) is terrorized by a stranger who claims to be her husband’s long-lost daughter.

“My Cat From Hell: Hell-iday Special” (Animal Planet 7pm) Asshole cats make holidays significantly less merry for unhappy owners. Can weirdo hipster Jackson save the day?

Sunday 28

“The Hollywood Reporter Roundtables” (A&E 10am) The Hollywood Reporter chats it up with some of this year’s hot actors (Benedict Cumberbatch, Ethan Hawke, Michael Keaton, Channing Tatum), then does the same with actresses (Amy Adams, Laura Dern, Julianne Moore, Hilary Swank, Reese Witherspoon).

“Finding Bigfoot: Best Bigfootage” (Animal Planet 7pm) This should be mercifully brief.

Nanny Cam (Lifetime 7pm) “Linda watches as Heather, their gorgeous new nanny, slowly bonds with her daughter and husband.” OK, OK, Lifetime. The housewives’ domestic fears are well-stoked again. You can ease off.

Monday 29

“Happy New Year, Charlie Brown!” (KOAT-7 7pm) This is just a weak rehash of your Thanksgiving special, you blockhead.

“Branson Famous” (TruTV 8pm) In its never-ending quest to locate new and different rednecks (from the toothless Georgia version to the heavily bearded Alaska variety), reality TV heads to Branson, Mo., to initiate a clan of country-fried dinner theater moguls.

Tuesday 30

“The 37th Annual Kennedy Center Honors” (KRQE-13 8pm) Traditionally, the Kennedy Center Honors are the driest of the annual hole-filling holiday award telecasts. But Stephen Colbert is hosting this year, so it could be fun. Al Green, Tom Hanks, Sting and Lily Tomlin are among the honorees.

Wednesday 31

See “Idiot Box” above.