“The Slap” (KOB-4 7pm) NBC’s “limited run” series is about an unhappily married guy whose cousin slaps somebody else's kid at a party. Seems like a solid basis for eight hours’ worth of drama. Given the star power in front of the camera (Peter Sarsgaard, Thandie Newton, Zachary Quinto, Uma Thurman, Brian Cox, Melissa George), maybe they know something we don’t.
“Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown” (KOAT-7 7pm) You could do worse than spending the evening watching this 1975 animated special in preparation for tomorrow night. Charlie Brown will probably never catch that redheaded girl’s attention, but Linus is a straight-up player for lusting after his teacher, Miss Othmar. Aim for the stars, dude.
Shakespeare Uncovered: Antony & Cleopatra with Kim Cattrall (KNME-5 9:30pm) I was watching an old episode of “The Incredible Hulk” the other day, and Kim Cattrall showed up playing a Native American archaeologist. She was way cute in 1979. Good times. ... Shakespeare, you say?
“Dinner with Family with Brett Gelman and Brett Gelman’s Family” (Cartoon Network 1:30am) Comedian Brett Gelman (“Eagleheart,” “Married”) joins his Hollywood family and friends for “a lively night of dining, tasty showbiz chitchat, and psychological torture.”
“Nascar Sprint Unlimited at Daytona” (KASA-2 6pm) I gotta hand it to you, FOX. You really know what gets a redneck’s heart racing.
“Animals in Love” (Animal Planet 7pm) If you’re spending Valentine’s Day watching animals mating, you may have a problem.
“Sexy Beasts” (A&E 8pm) In A&E’s new dating reality show (stolen from the BBC), singles are sent on dates dressed in outrageous prosthetic costumes—like puppets, frogs, cat people and witches. ... Which begs the question, “Um, why?”
“Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary Special” (KOB-4 7pm) Dan Aykroyd, Molly Shannon, Tina Fey, Will Ferrell, Chris Rock, Bill Murray, Martin Short, Garrett Morris, Andy Samberg, Jane Curtin, Jon Lovitz, Laraine Newman and Norm Macdonald are just a few of the past cast members showing up. Then again, so is Sarah Palin, so ...
The Book of Negroes (BET 6pm) It’s BET’s title, not mine. This 6-part miniseries details the story of a slave forcefully brought to South Carolina from West Africa at the time of the American Revolution.
“Stevie Wonder: Songs in the Key of Life—An All-Star Grammy Salute” (KRQE-13 8pm) Chris Martin, Willie Nelson, Ed Sheeran and Usher show up to possibly butcher a few Stevie Wonder classics.
“Repeat After Me” (KOAT-7 7:30pm) In this hidden camera prank show— liberally ripped-off from truTV’s “Impractical Jokers”—Wendi McLendon-Covey (“Reno 911!”) talks to celebrities (Ellen Pompeo, Harry Connick Jr., for starters) over an earpiece, telling them what to say and do. Everyone has a good laugh. Allegedly.
“The Mentalist” (KRQE-13 7pm) CBS’ crime-solving series about a really smart guy who pretends to be a psychic (because it’s easier for people to believe in a psychic than a really smart guy) goes off the air with this 2-hour series finale.